Secretary Jeon [Jungkook x Reader]

♡ 34

CHAPTER 34

After running for a while, I'd ended up at some sort of children's park nearby the restaurant, and had taken a seat on one of the swings. My mind was in chaos, but I knew there was one thing I needed to do- confront the man who had stolen everything from me. My trembling hands struggled to dial the numbers. My breath was shaky and uneven, overwhelmed by my emotions. I wasn't sure if I could even properly form the sentences I wished to, but I had to try.

"It's odd of you to call me so late," the voice answered. My father. Hearing him speak only served to fan the flames of hatred that were growing within me.

"You sent Jungkook away- why?" 

"He didn't deserve you," he answered matter-of-factly, as if it were obvious. My question meaningless. "You were meant to be with someone worthy of this family's name, he was a distraction from that end result."

"I-I loved him," I choked out. "I didn't want to be with someone else."

"I believe he was fairly compensated for the inconvenience of breaking things off, what's the big deal?" My father laughed, a deep bellowing laugh. Either he was ignorant to my suffering, or he was more heartless than I'd ever come to realize.

"He was the first person that I ever opened my heart to," I sniffled, desperately fighting back the urge to cry. "And he loved me, too."

"In exchange for his obedience I gave him everything a man could want- fame, fortune, power. He seems to have started quite the life without you- without love."

I bit down on my lip so hard I drew blood and winced from the pain. "No, you can't take his success from him. You may have opened a door or two for him, but he got where he is by his own talent." 

I wouldn't let my father corrupt my mind with those thoughts. Yes, Jungkook had achieved his dreams, but he hadn't left me because my father promised him a quick road to success- he left because of the threat to Jimin. I believed Jungkook. His success was simply the biproduct of what he'd been forced to do. He felt like he didn't have any other options, so he made the best of a bad situation. I wouldn't be made to hate him for living on without me. 

"All I mean to say is that he is doing just fine on his own, so why are you so upset?" he groaned, growing impatient. "You don't mean to tell me you still have feelings for that man, do you?"

"It doesn't matter," I spat out. "You made pleas begging for my forgiveness for all of the things you'd done to me over the years, and you never thought to mention sending Jungkook away?"

"I didn't find it worth mentioning."

His words stung. He hadn't found it worth mentioning. Something that had ripped me to pieces, left me an inconsolable mess, and he hadn't found it worth mentioning? What I felt towards my father now was a feeling beyond loathing. I was right to deny his apology. He wasn't a changed man, that much was clear from his attitude towards being confronted. He'd simply found a pretty mask to hide the malice that lie within him. But every mask has it cracks.

"You will never contact me again," I sighed, a numb now to his wickedness. I spoke the words with overwhelming confidence in my decision. "I don't want to hear you say that you're sorry. Live with your regrets, you owe me that much."

With those final words I hung up the phone and blocked his number. The tears, now unconstrained, ran down my cheeks as I stared up at the emptiness of the sky. I wondered how cutting someone so toxic out of my life could feel both relieving and agonizing at the same time. How do you mourn the loss of someone who's not even dead? Someone evil? I felt guilty for even feeling sorrow.

Footsteps approached, and I hastily reached to cover my head with my jacket, embarrassed by the state of my face. I didn't need some stranger seeing me bawl my eyes out in the middle of a playground. I wanted to maintain some semblance of pride. But it wasn't a stranger that reached out to grab my shoulder, it was the one hope of family I had left in this world. Seeing him standing before me, a pitying look on his face, only caused the tears to fall faster.

"Y/N," Jimin whined. "I won't ask if you're okay, but I will ask what happened." He took a seat on the swing next to me.

"Not much," I chuckled, my voice burdened and nose sniffly from crying. "I found out that our father is the reason why Jungkook broke up with me and went to Japan last year."

"You know why he left now. Why not go back to him?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder to provide any comfort he could.

"It's not so simple," I shook my head. "It's been a year; he may not even love me anymore. He did say he'd moved on."

"What about you?" Jimin frowned. "Do YOU still love him?"

I had to pause, not because I didn't know the answer to his question, but because admitting that I still loved Jungkook was difficult. Admitting weakness. My failure to move on from a man who had abandoned me over a year ago, regardless of the reasoning. The fact that the moment I saw him again after all that time, my heart had skipped a beat just like the first time I recognized I loved him. Life wasn't a fairytale; I couldn't just run back to Jungkook from my happily ever after now that the true villain was revealed.

"It's not so simple," I repeated.

"Yes, it is."

I stood up and stared deep into his eyes. I uttered my next words as if they were the only thing that I was truly certain of. "I love him."