Secretary Jeon [Jungkook x Reader]

♡ 25

CHAPTER 25

~Y/N's POV~

"I'm leaving for Japan Monday morning," he spoke, his mouth in a tight line.

"Oh, do we have a meeting with the Japan branch that I missed the email for?" I questioned, scrolling mindlessly through my emails on my phone.

Jungkook had asked to meet for breakfast this Saturday at an ungodly hour of the early morning. I'd agreed, because the thought of waffles and pancakes was tempting, and because I always struggled to say no to him. Still, I was failing to hold in my yawns, eyes droopy with exhaustion. I'd hoped he might want to crawl into bed and keep sleeping for another couple of hours, but that didn't appear to be the case. We hadn't even eaten yet and he was hitting me with talks of work.

"No, Y/N." The sound of my name, and the serious tone he had spoken it with made me instantly raise my eyes from my screen to look at him. "Just me. For good."

"What are you on about?" I giggled, waiting for the punchline. I waited. And waited. But he just stared at me.

"I have to thank you," he smiled. But it wasn't a smile I was used to seeing on his lips. No, this smile was harsh and devoid of the tenderness he normally used with me. It shook me to my core and caused my breath to hitch in my throat. "You were extremely helpful in securing my future."

"Jungkook..."

"It was a bit of a challenge to pretend to be in love with you," he sighed. "You can be sort of... well, you know how you are. In the end, though, I got what I wanted, and I will be starting my own brand. So, thank you."

"You're lying," I choked out. "Why are you lying?" My heart was thumping wildly in my chest as I tried to fathom what exactly was happening. Just a few days ago, Jungkook had professed his love to me and promised to always stay by my side. We said we would persevere no matter what obstacles we faced. Now, he was spitting vicious words like venom at my feet.

"I'm not lying," he shook his head and another devilish smile played at his lips. "How could I actually love a heartless woman such as yourself?"

"How long?" I spoke lowly. "How long have you been pretending with me?"

"Since the first day I met you."

"What?"

"The first day I met you I realized how easy it would be to manipulate you."

"Get out." My tone was calm but there was a hurricane of emotions ready to burst inside of me. I just refused to let him bear witness to them.

"Take care." Jungkook didn't even bother to look back as he exited through my front door.

The moment I knew that the coast was clear and Jungkook wasn't going to walk back into my apartment, my legs gave out from under me, and I collapsed onto the floor. It felt like hours that I sat there, in complete silence, unmoving, before my brain processed the conversation that we had just had. Only then, did the tears begin to rush down my cheeks, as sobs shook my whole body. I could hardly breathe, to the point that it felt as if I was suffocating, gasping to take in enough oxygen to survive.

An immeasurable amount of time. Uncountable hours. That's how long it took for the initial heartbreak to transition to a feeling of numbness. A tolerable numbness that allowed me to lift myself from the cold tile floor and into the solace of my bed. I sank into the sheets and melded with the mattress, staring up at the ceiling. And that is where I spent the next several days, refusing to return to work, knowing full well that the memories would be too much. I'd see him as a ghost lingering in every corner of my office. The man I thought he was.

To my surprise, my father didn't mind my absence much, and had allowed me to take a full week away from the company. The timing of Jungkook abandoning me was close to my supposed breakup with Taehyung, so perhaps he was actually granting me some time to recover. Just not for the reason he thought. Perhaps hearing the lack of life in my voice when I'd called him made him realize how pained I was. He was still my father, despite his failures. Maybe he pitied me.

For the first few weeks, some sick, pathetic part of me thought Jungkook would come running back to me, claiming the whole thing was some long-drawn-out joke. But he never did. He never called, texted, or reappeared at my doorstep like I'd prayed he would. He was gone for good, and wallowing in my misery wasn't going to change that fact. When I'd made that realization, I knew I had to pick myself up from the depths and carry on.

Only one thing kept me stationary, unable to forget him. Heartless. The word that he used stuck with me like a knife to the chest. In the end, he still viewed me the same way as everyone else had. The cold and heartless CEO of Park Group. I thought he had taken down my walls, brick by brick, uncovering the real me. I thought I'd shown him that I wasn't the woman everyone made me out to be. I was wrong.

Now, what? So much of my time and energy over the past few months had been invested into finding a way to have a relationship with Jungkook. It felt as though my identity, the identity that existed without him, before him, had fluttered away. Do I just go back to the way things were? He'd made me a better version of myself, but it had all turned out to be a fallacy. So, do I just go back?

Who is the me without you?