Secretary Jeon [Jungkook x Reader]

♡ 13

CHAPTER 13

~Jungkook's POV~

I'd screwed up- royally screwed up. I'd excused myself from Y/N's apartment, but not before promising that her and I would discuss everything that had happened during the upcoming weekend. She just stared at my blankly as I let my legs carry me out of there as swiftly as humanly possible. I'd promised we'd discuss things, but what the hell did I intend to say to her? I'm sorry we crossed a line, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat?

Though she may have initiated, I blamed myself for what transpired. The kiss. My god, the kiss. It was like heaven. Her lips were like a fountain of life, and I couldn't stop drinking her in. Even when I'd caught myself being swept up in the emotion, I still didn't stop. I couldn't get enough of her, just one kiss wouldn't be enough to satisfy me. So, I kept going, spinning in her web, completely ensnared by her. Willing prey.

But she was practically a married woman, just waiting for the title. Untouchable. No matter how desperately I yearned to be with her, it was out of the question. I was nothing more than an average, working-class man. Her father expected more than that, and she would obey him. She had to, or everything she valued would be ripped away from her. I knew that.

I didn't blame her for kissing me. She was chasing a hopeless dream, the same one that I'd found myself chasing, too. There were countless times when I found myself gazing at her lips, wanting to feel them pressed against my own. She was perfection personified and she didn't even recognize it. How could I not fall for her?

I kicked myself, cursing into the air, as I gripped the steering wheel in my car and rested my head against it. If there was some chance that she could remain in my life, I wanted to take it. I ran through a million different scenarios in my head, hopeful for anything to click. I could work to become someone worthy of her love in her father's eyes, but that could take years, and time was of the essence. She had one month before she would be forced to marry someone else. Someone rich. Someone not me.

In another life, we could date, fall in love, and find some sort of happy ending. But in this life, she was the queen, and I was the jester. Her castle was unreachable. A brief moment of insanity may have been the reason I took her on the date in the first place. Some part of me hoped that there would be nothing there, and that the date would cement that fact. No spark. Instead, there was a whole damn fire.

Wallowing in self-pity made me hate myself. That wasn't who I was. I wasn't the type to lie down and die without giving it my all. Throughout my life, I'd turned rags to riches, the impossible to possible, and I could do it again. I could do it a hundred times over if it was for her. If anything, anyone, was worth the struggle, it was her.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and scrolled through the contacts, unsure of who could help me. I just needed to talk to someone. My fingers stopped at one name- Min Yoongi. He'd been in my position before, maybe not my exact position, since he'd managed not to fall for Y/N, but he still knew her like the back of his hand. Hesitating, I clicked his name and let the line ring.

"Hello?" Yoongi answered after a few moments.

"Hey," I dragged out the syllables. "If you could spare some time, I could really use some advice."

"Of course, I'll always have time for my protégé. Let's meet up."

We met at a coffee shop just down the road. I spared no details as I recalled the story of everything that had happened in the last few weeks between Y/N and I. Yoongi listened attentively, choosing not to interject until I had explained everything in full.

"So, you love Y/N, huh?" Yoongi sipped on the iced Americano in front of him.

"I didn't say...that," I paused.

"Sure, but you just spent the last thirty minutes describing to me everything that went down," he spoke plainly. "And your face when you talk about her lights up like she's the only thing in your world that matters." Well, he certainly didn't pull any punches.

"I don't know if it's love or what it is- I just know that I can't loser her," I spoke, desperation in my voice.

"I'm a bit disappointed in you, Jungkook," Yoongi traced circles with his finger on the table. "You didn't strike me as the type of person who would underestimate themselves, or Y/N, for that matter."

I had to ponder over his words. He had a valid point. I already knew that I was considering giving up on myself before I even made an attempt to fight, but I hadn't thought about the fact that I was giving up on Y/N. She was one of the strongest women that I'd ever met, and I owed her the chance to figure things out if she wanted to.

"Look, Jungkook," Yoongi started to speak up. "I don't have all the answers for you, I'm sorry, I don't. But what I do know is that if anyone can make it work, against all odds, it's the two of you."

My conversation with Yoongi hadn't given me the perfect solution, like I'd somehow hoped it would, but it did renew my confidence. In some ways, that was even more valuable. My previous plans for the weekend were to cut things off with Y/N, to spare us both the heart break in the long run. But now? Now, I intended to tell her that I wouldn't do that. Not ever. No matter how difficult, how painful, I would fight for her.