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You know something is wrong in your life when days blur into each other without a particular start or finish. When emotions fill the space time would have taken so all you remember is stress or fear or love instead of knowing what you had to eat or if you slept well.

My memory isn't compromised. I know everything that happened from the minute Martin broke the news to Yoongi and until now. But looking back at it I am having trouble recalling anything but how my hands were shaking and how my mind was running seven times faster than normal.

Ten minutes after Yoongi had come to the apartment the rest of the guys had come running through the door looking for us. I remembered Jungkook's strong arms wrapping around me and the scent of his perfume as I buried my face in his chest and managed to find some source of comfort from it as Martin was talking to them at an inhuman speed trying to fill them in on everything they'd missed. The soft humming of Jungkook's voice against the top of my head along with his strong arm holding me close to him was enough to make me feel safe while their voices slowly but surely re-entered my mind when the potion stopped working. But from there I have no clue how long it took before we said goodbye to Martin, Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai. Everything was a blur and all I knew was how scared I was and how I didn't want to hear what they were discussing.

The hours must at some point have turned into days, and I wasn't alone in the apartment anymore as Jin refused to risk me having another attack where no one could get to me. I wasn't as fragile as he painted me to be, but I also didn't have the emotional energy to go against him when the truth was that I actually didn't want to be alone.

I felt pathetic, but also thankful that they didn't expect much from me as all I could do was blame myself for the situation we were suddenly in the middle of.

"It's just a party" Taehyung said, zipping up my black dress from behind while I looked at myself in the mirror. The party in question being a spontaneous HYBE party put together by HYBE to initially gather everyone working with and in the company to encourage mingling and for employees to get to know each other better.

And as of last night I was indeed, a HYBE employee. Hired in the illustrations department to be exact.

"You know this is not just a party, Tae. It's a big event that will be covered by way too many news channels and papers. And also it's all because of my mistake. I am allowed to be stressed over a party arranged solely to throw people off when it comes to the idea of us being soulmates."

The plan had been made sometime between that day and now, I only knew the parts of it that I had to, and I still hated it.

"Stop calling it a mistake, you gave us a party to go to, I haven't been to a party in so long, this is going to be amazing. And once the plan works when someone throws the soulmate dust at us and nothing happens, we get to have a blast and come home to each other without any suspicions. It's a win win!"

Taehyung was too confident everything would go smoothly. They all were. I would show up early, make my presence known through mingling. Stay visible for most of the night and especially when an unknown party guest openly tries to expose my soulmates as just that and throws the dust at them. With the connection cancelling drinks consumed we wouldn't react to it and everyone would have their proof.

I still hated it despite their confidence of its success.

Love makes you do stupid things I guess because of course I was still willingly going through with it.

"Had it not been because of my parents none of this would have happened." I argued, leaning back into Taehyung's embrace as we stood before the mirror. His arms mechanically thrown around me, letting me revel in the scent of him and the feeling of his warmth around me.

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