Yuanfen [Bakudeku]

Chapter 9

"Where are we going, Kacchan?" Izuku giggles, when Katsuki poorly tries to evade the question that he's been asking since they got into the car.

"Kacchan?" Katsuki asks before he could stop himself. He quickly glances towards Izuku, only to see him covering his face with a prominent blush on his cheeks. "Hey come on, don't be shy. I like it." Katsuki assures with a smile.

"I- I'm so sorry! I don't know how it slipped... Are you sure you're okay with being called that?" Izuku bashfully asks, to which Katsuki again assures that he finds it cute.

"Hey! You're steering away from the topic! Where are we going?" Izuku realises, his eyes wide. Katsuki laughs loudly at his reaction, now swerving into a well-known street.

"It's a surprise Izuku, shh. Let's go have breakfast somewhere and then head to our destination, okay?" Katsuki chuckles at Izuku's pout, how could he be so cute??

The boys had a very basic breakfast, with Katsuki constantly reminding Izuku not to have anything heavy as they'll be exercising of sorts.

Then they enter a familiar road. Then a familiar building. Then a familiar volleyball court.

"Kacchan- what are we doing here?" Izuku asks, his throat suddenly closing up on him. He looks towards Katsuki, who seems to have the biggest smile.

"We are here to play volleyball! I thought you would like it, you know." Katsuki seemed so excited, however, Izuku couldn't help but feel like crying.

Izuku looks away for a second, taking a deep breath before he turns to Katsuki with a determined face.

"Katsuki, I never told you why I stopped playing, did I?" Upon his question and his tone, Katsuki's face falls. He shakes his head, now feeling a little guilty about not questioning it. 

"I had an accident. A week before the final match that I was supposed to play against you. I was in a car with my friends and... we lost control.

"All my friends had injuries, just like me and... I just didn't think it was a huge deal, you know? Because volleyball or not, all of us had some injuries and-" Izuku rambles, tears slowly running down his cheek. 

"No stop, Izuku," Katsuki interrupts his ramble, "I'm sorry to interrupt but- you are allowed to feel sad for something you didn't achieve. Don't- just don't think your pain is invalid or something, okay? Cause that's just bullshit.

"I get it, they suffered as well, but that doesn't make your pain any less valid. You can't compare pain levels, it's different." Katsuki tries his hardest to explain. But he couldn't help it when Izuku starts crying worse. 

"Hey... come here, Izuku." Katsuki begrudgingly opens his arms, inviting Izuku for a hug.

Izuku doesn't notice Katsuki's heartbeat, fortunately. If he did, he would've understood how much Katsuki wanted to protect him and cherish him.

He would've heard Katsuki's heart breaking at his voice.

Then, Izuku continues, "I had a knee surgery. My doctor said it's better if I give up on an unachievable dream. I can't play Katsuki. I mean- I physically can't.

"I- did you know that I got into the nationals? 3 years ago? It was my dream! I wanted it and then- it just- I don't know what happened..." Izuku continues sniffling against Katsuki's shoulder. 

It surprised Katsuki. He wasn't sobbing, he wasn't angry, he wasn't frustrated. It's as if he lost all hope.

As if he's given up on what was the most precious to him. Katsuki couldn't imagine giving up on volleyball.

Yet here he is with Izuku, soothingly rubbing his back. 

"I've come into terms with it. It's not a big deal you know. It's okay. I- maybe you could play and I'll watch? It would've been better if I had my camera right now." Izuku chuckles awkwardly, pulling away from the hug and refusing to meet Katsuki's eyes. 

"None of that shit. I wanted to see you play, Izuku. It's okay, alright? I'm sorry I never asked you about it.

"Let's go somewhere else, don't worry your pretty little head about it." Katsuki chuckles when Izuku slaps his arm weakly at being called 'pretty' and 'little'. 

"Don't call me little. I used to jump really high when I played volleyball." Izuku grumbles, but before he could start thinking about it, Katsuki diverts the topic. 

"Hmm... like the Little Giant from Haikyuu? Or probably like Hinata, cause you know, you're also pretty." Izuku gasps suddenly, surprising Katsuki.

Izuku then tugs Katsuki away from the court, trying to be as discreet as possible. 

"You watch Haikyuu too? Oh my god, you're a weeb!" Izuku gleefully smiles, his entire front row of teeth dazzling a little too bright in front of Katsuki's eyes. 

"That wasn't the point. And I am not a weeb-" Katsuki tries to start, but quickly shuts up when he realises how excited Izuku seemed. 

"Explain your jersey number then?" Izuku playfully asks. Katsuki's number was 9, and he specifically asked for it (if you tell him that, he will find you and hunt you down.)

"You do seem like the guy who is into Kageyama." And to that, Katsuki genuinely doesn't know how to react. 

Katsuki nearly asks him his jersey number, but shuts up in case it triggers him.

Honestly, Katsuki now felt the need to walk on eggshells around him now. What if he messes up? What if it results in the exact opposite of what he wanted? 

He would never forgive himself if that happened. 

"But what do you mean by saying Hinata is pretty? Is it because we don't know how the Little Giant looks? I mean, I only watched the anime, I didn't have time for the manga.

"Do you think the Little Giant's face was shown in the manga? Oh my god, maybe I should ask someone about it." Izuku continues mumbling and he seemed so invested that it wasn't a surprise when he found himself in the parking area already. 

But the more he rambles, the more Katsuki realises how much Izuku loved Volleyball.

Besides, Izuku's distracting game was shit.

He was trying so hard to not cry, maybe because he believes he doesn't deserve the tears, the pity and the care.

And Katsuki was willing to indulge into his silly game. Especially if it was his coping method. 

But he still feels responsible. Guilty. 

"Listen, Izuku. I'm- I didn't know about, you know. I'm sorry. I just kinda really wanted to take you outside somewhere." Katsuki slowly explains, his face already fallen.

"Kacchan. You didn't know and I didn't tell you. It's not your fault. And like you said, it's not like the day's over! We can go out somewhere, have ice cream and what not!" Izuku didn't seem to be upset, and even if he was, he was darn good at pretending not to be. 

The entire day passes slowly, completely opposite of what Katsuki expected it to be like. But he doesn't seem to complain.

At least not with Izuku.