mutuality | wroetoshaw

twenty seven

GUYS I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU ALL TO LISTEN TO ANGEL BY THE WINGS BY SIA FOR THIS CHAPTER! GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN

When I wake up, I instantly realise I'm not alone. It takes me a couple of seconds, but curled up next to me is Kirsty, still asleep.

We're in my room, my bed, which is why I'm so confused as to why Kirsty is in bed with me. The confusion causes me to sit up, which is a fatal mistake because there is thunder rumbling inside my head, lightning crashing down in each corner, the pain excruciating.

"Fuck," I mutter, rubbing a soothing hand on my temple in an attempt to soften the pain. It doesn't work.

A set of painkillers and a glass of water catch my eye from my bedside table, and I look at the girl next to me, silently thanking her for being my saviour in present day. I first take a few sips of the refreshing water, then swallow down two painkillers, waiting for it to set in.

I must've made some movement because she stirs, and opens her eyes groggily, glancing over at me warily.

"Morning," she croaks out, her morning voice very evident.

"Good morning...can I ask why we're sharing a bed? Not that I mind it, or anything, but -"

"You wouldn't stop crying last night so I thought it would be a better idea if I stayed," she says, and I am genuinely confused now.

"Hold on - crying? Why the fuck was I crying?" I ask, because as far as I remembered I went to the pub last night, had a few drinks then I -

I couldn't remember. Everything else was completely blank. I couldn't even remember how I got home.

"You - you don't remember?" She asks hesitantly, and instantly I can tell by the look on her face that something had happened last night.

"Remember what, Kirsty? What happened last night?" I ask, although I'm not entirely sure I want to know.

"I mean I wasn't there for all of it but from what I heard and saw myself you were having a breakdown over Harry not wanting you back," she says bluntly, and I'm glad she came out and said it all at once because tiptoeing around it wasn't going to do either of us any favours.

The truth made me want to curl up into a ball and disappear from earth.

"Please tell me I didn't do this in front of him?" I ask, eyes wide as she refuses to shake her head. She gives me a sad look instead, which confirms my worst fear.

"Fucking hell," I whisper, and I shrink back into the headboard, feeling like throwing up.

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think -" she starts, but I see right through her, giving her a look. "Okay, it might be a little bad, but give him some credit. It's Harry," she says softly, and even hearing his name hurts something deep inside of me.

"I actually can't face him," I groan, "this is why I don't drink alcohol! I was planning on coming home after the shoot yesterday and relaxing!"

"Okay, well you can't change the past, and now he knows. I'm not trying to make you feel worse," she continues after looking at my horrified face, "but instead helping you come to terms with it. Maybe...maybe it's a good thing it's out in the open now. That way, he can do something about it if he feels the same. If nothing is said, you can just pretend like you don't know what happened," she tells me, but she's wrong. Everything has changed. Nothing will be the same as it was before.

In other terms, I fucked up. Badly.

"We've got a shoot today. Do you want me to tell Kon you're ill?" She asks, clearly noticing my mood.