mutuality | wroetoshaw

forty two

Two weeks had flown by since I'd been at home, but I still hadn't told Georgie about Dubai. It was the beginning of May now, and Harry was soon going to be going away for Simon's stag due - something I'd had to convince him to go to because he was worried about leaving me alone again.

I'd been to Charlotte's old therapist twice, and talking it through with a stranger was beneficial, and I knew that talking it out was for the better, so despite how tough it was at first, I persevered through it.

Yet, the thought of telling Georgie was overwhelming, and every time I thought I'd plucked up the courage to do it, my nerves would get the better of me and I'd back down from doing it.

It was infuriating, really, because I knew I needed to tell her, and I was aware she knew something was going on with me. She needed to hear it from me and not from someone else.

Today was the day.

Harry was leaving tomorrow for three days, and he'd promised he'd come back here once they were back from the stag due. I knew I had to return to London soon - I had responsibilities up there, alongside a literal job. My to-do list grew longer and longer every day that passed, but I kept putting it off for the time being, spending time with my loved ones, and catching up on missed months of Eliza's life, catering to her every demand.

"I'm going to tell her today. I really am," I say out loud to Harry, who was lying on top of the duvet, mindlessly scrolling on his phone.

He puts it down when I talk, looking at me with curious eyes as I stand in the middle of my room, wracking my brain for the best way to tell Georgie that the unthinkable had happened to me on a holiday that was supposed to be one of the best weeks of my life.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm going to message her to come up to my room, and just come out with it. Not sure how, but I need to do it today. And before you say anything, I know I've said that literally every single day for the last two and a bit weeks, but I genuinely mean it today."

He looks at me lovingly, sitting up properly, manoeuvring a pillow to prop him up and then patting the bed beside him for me to sit next to him, which I do.

"Tilly, I wasn't going to say anything, how much of prick do you think I am?" He asks sarcastically, kissing the side of my cheek. "I have faith in you. Georgie loves you, she wants what's best for you, like we all do. She might be upset you haven't told her yet, but she'll understand. I'm sure of it. I'll go and help your parents with lunch...that should give you enough time to talk to her?" He asks, and I nod my head, but don't move out of the way for him to get up, because I feel so safe with him next to me, and I want to savour that feeling.

"I love you," I hum, leaning into him, enjoying the feeling of his arms snaking around me, not ever wanting to leave.

"Love you too. It'll all be okay," he whispers, kissing me gently over and over again until I break out in a smile. "There it is," he grins. "I'll go, now. If you need anything, message me. I'll leave it on ringer."

I shift slightly so he's able to move past me, and he lingers a little while in the doorway whilst I get out my own phone, clicking on Georgie's contact number.

To: Georgie

Can you come to my room rn?

Ya of course give me one min

"Done. I'll see you downstairs in a bit," I say to him, but not really looking up because I didn't want him to see my shay hands, or my teary eyes as the realisation hits and starts to slowly sink in.