Society

Chapter 30

 We reached the chalice and I quickly made my way into the spires bypassing the arena and instead cutting through the empty canteen, I was glad I didn't have to worry about the whole picture thing at the end of a mission, Dan had told me on the way back that because it was done with a witness I don't need to send a picture. I walked to the spire and opened my door closing it behind me, I let out a sigh of relief I had managed to evade Neco so far, I wonder how long I could stay cooped up in here.

"A is that you back?"

I jumped at the familiar voice and turned to see Neco standing in the hall.

"What are you still doing here?" I felt my voice wavering but ignored it.

"I wanted to go, but someone locked their door when they left without letting me out."

"I did?" he nodded and I looked back at the door which was now locked as well, I must be doing it subconsciously now.

I turned back to Neco and he began walking towards me.

"Hey, can we talk about what happened?"

He reached his arms out towards me but I quickly moved past him and headed to the living room, as I passed the bathroom I noticed the bathroom had been tidied and the floor was clear but the mirror was still shattered, a sore reminder of my actions.

I sat down on the couch, curling my feet beneath me and I turned on the radio which was playing a strange song which consisted of electronic noises, Neco quickly sat down next to me, facing me while I diverted my gaze. I heard him let out a sigh before he continues to talk.

"Come on, A I'm worried. Please will you tell me what happened, not even with Leila but what happened to your bathroom?"

I could feel tears begin to sting my eyes but I refused to let them fall, I took a deep breath before continuing.

"I smashed it, I don't know what happened but I got so angry and I smashed it then I went after Leila."

My voice was weak and the sound of it sickened me, when did I become this pathetic, I angled my face further away from him as I felt the hot tears fall down my face in silence.

"Why were you angry? What happened?"

I felt my throat tightening and took a moment before I could speak and even then my voice was a fragile imitation of my usual voice.

"I woke up crying. I don't know why, I..." My voice caught in my throat and I heard myself hiccup, Neco moved forward turning me around so that I would have to face him, I refused to look him in the eye and instead focused on the couch I was sitting on.

"That's all, because you cried? Did something happen?"

"I don't know!" I screamed at him, I felt so frustrated and helpless, he let go of me and I curled up. I could no longer hold back the tears and felt my chest convulsing with every wavering breath I took.

I felt arms wrap around me and I looked up confused at the unfamiliar action, Neco looked at me, his eyes shimmered, a wet film lying over them.

"Don't try to deal with this on your own; I thought you felt the same about me as I did about you."

His words stung, the accusation in his voice struck deep within my heart.

"I do, I just don't know how to deal with it. I've never had to go through this before."

"Haven't you ever cried before?"

I shook my head and he pulled me closer into his arms, I felt myself calm down and began questioning my actions.

"Why does it bother you?" I looked up as Neco voiced my own concerns.

I took a breath and began to push myself away from him before laying my head on his shoulder to continue.

"I don't know, I've been through so much harder times and it's when I finally get where I wanted to be, I have friends, I get to do what I want. Now, now I start crying."

"What did you go through before?"

I shook my head before continuing.

"It doesn't matter, they're all dead and it never bothered me."

Neco pushed me off his shoulder and sat me up straight in front of him. I looked at him confused by his sudden actions.

"It does matter, you didn't get a chance to let it bother you before, now you do and you promised you'd tell me about your life before anyway." He paused and took a breath before continuing. "Please, tell me what's wrong."

I sighed and rearranged my legs to allow me to face him properly.

"You want the full story, my whole life?"

He nodded and I began recounting my life.

"When I was born I was given to a family, my mum and dad died when I was too young to remember them, the family I was given to used me sort of like a slave, I left at five and lived on the streets. I was a thief for probably about another five years then I began killing people, I lived on the streets for the next six years until I moved here."

Neco sat, processing all I had said, and then asked his questions.

"Why did you leave so young?"

"Because I didn't like being punched for leaving crumbs on the floor or being locked away for speaking up."

"They hit you!"

I was taken aback by how surprised he was at the fact.

"Yes, of course they did. I wasn't theirs and I didn't do what they wanted, they also couldn't get rid of me until I was five. What else would they have done?"

He looked at me, seemingly bewildered by my answer.

"It didn't bother you? It didn't upset you that they hit you?"

I thought about it for a moment before answering.

"As you said I didn't have time to let it bother me."

"But doesn't it still bother you, it sounds like you lived a horrible life, could you have had a nightmare or something that you don't remember last night and that's why you were crying."

I let out a dry laugh.

"where are you from, life outside of the city is pretty bad to begin with, I mean people like me aren't particularly uncommon, there's lots of murderers but they're called the alliance not murderers."

"I came from a pretty quiet area, not a lot of attacks happened, do you hate the alliance?"

I rubbed my eyes slightly, to completely dry them, before replying.

"That actually explains a lot about you, no offense but you don't seem like someone from outside at first glance. But to answer your question, I hate the alliance with every fibre of my being, if it wasn't for them my parents would not be dead and I wouldn't have had a better life."

"See, it does bother you. If it didn't bother you then you wouldn't care if it was different."

I thought about it for a moment, before letting out a sigh. He was completely right, it did bother me. I was about to respond when I glimpsed the torn up body of a girl, one from outside who thought they were friends with me, walking towards me from the door. I felt the colour in my face drain out of me; I stared at the ghastly figure for all of a second before screaming, I screamed at the figure while attempting to scurry across the couch forgetting I was already placed at the end. I pushed myself into the corner trying to distance myself from her, she stopped and looked at me; she was missing an eye and her cheek had been ripped open. She opened her mouth to say something when Neco moved in front of me blocking her from my vision, he was shouting something but I couldn't hear him, I looked past him and the girl was gone.