COTE: Self-Preservation

Y2V4: Takuya Yagami's Soliloquy

Had it been a physical ailment, I would have recovered. But this was something different. A thought. A thought that wouldn't leave my mind no matter how much I wished for it.

Am I replaceable?

To be second place, does it mean anything? I've seen countless people leave that place, their very sense of self ripped away from their eyes as they did. I thought that if I was the first in my generation, all would be fine.

God, I was so wrong.

I was a person without a soul. A person destined to live the rest of my life in anguish. That is, if I remained second overall. If I'm first, doesn't that just mean I am not reproducible? If Ayanokouji Kiyotaka is the unreachable man and I were to overcome him, it simply means I have reached a level no one else could reach.

Every day in that place, I heard one phrase.

'Ayanokouji was better.'

I was so far ahead of everyone else. The person who was second wasn't even close, and yet, I was the same when compared to Ayanokouji Kiyotaka.

How far did I have to go? I cast aside my limits again and again. I didn't care about my wellbeing, my health, I recreated myself as many times as it took. And by the end of it all, I heard the same phrase.

And then, I got selected. I underwent a debriefing on the modern world, I got accustomed with the names and faces of ordinary people, I created a version of myself that was liked by all.

Every day in class I was bored out of my mind, learning concepts I had learned years ago. I spent every second running through scenarios, finding the perfect stage.

I walked up the ramp onto the ship, the sun beating down on me.

"Please," I muttered under my breath.

I only have this. My hands were untamable. If I lose this, then everything that happened to the dropouts from my generation would happen to me.

So please, Ayanokouji, let me bury you.