Nerd

XXI

XXI.

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF days, I stayed at Ryan's house with his mum Rachael telling me that I was more than welcome to stay as long as needed. When she sat down and spoke to me about what's been going on with my mother, she did tell me to give my mother time to come around, that she might still be trying to process it. Rachael reassured me that I was still the same old Becca and that nothing had changed, telling me that I always had a place at hers.

It was nice to know I had somewhere to run to, but the thought of her coming around, she has had almost a whole month to let it sink in, and we are still at the same place we left off. Yes, she can be a heartless bitch when she wants to be but never anything like this, treating me like I am a child with the punishment of taking my belongings. As Rachael said, I am still the same person I've not changed. If I am being honest, she has never stayed around long enough to know who I was, let alone who I am now.

How pathetic is that?

I kept what had been happening at home to myself, with only Ryan and his family aware of the situation, not wanting to add any more stress on top of Amanda with everything else going on.

Around midday, I picked DeCeno up from work to take her to the hospital to be with her mum for the appointment. I offered to wait until they had finished when she reassured me she would be fine, only letting it slip that Chrissy was going to pick them both up. I know she felt my hesitation when she got out of the car and leaned over to kiss me goodbye.

"Nothing is happening, I promise. It is just a lift. Chrissy only wants to see my mum." Her hand took my cheek gently when I felt her fingertips brush my jaw when I gave her a feeble nod.

She leant back in again to give me one last kiss goodbye, not really knowing how to feel, only seeming to be able to stare straight ahead while the idea of Chrissy picking them up sunk in. If this is the case, why wait until the last minute to tell me? Unless she was worried about my reaction? All I would have done was ask a few questions, at least then, I would have been prepared and not blindsided. I never even realised the two of them had started talking again. I had no idea that Chrissy knew about her mum.

I began to feel bad for even being annoyed at the situation when I should be happy she has a support system. I could not shake the feeling that Chrissy was doing this to gain something in return, a feeling inside of me making me feel like she was after something. Chrissy was always and has been a selfish person, never doing favours for anyone without knowing what she would gain back in return, usually being something greater than what they had to offer. Numerous people have wanted to be in her breathing space which I never knew why, other than the obvious of her being popular, they would worship the ground she walked on.

She didn't deem anyone on her level when it came to her friendship group, usually playing them off on each other as she double-crossed them. I have heard her in the past threaten Amanda over small mundane things. I knew DeCeno could handle herself and not let people walk all over her, there have been a few times that I have caught her snapping at Chrissy. Even though Chrissy would wear a smirk when she would touch a nerve, I knew she hated that Amanda had a backbone, unlike the other lapdogs who kissed her feet.

I tried to push it to the back of my mind as I drove back to Ryan's house, needing something to do to keep myself occupied for the rest of the day, returning home still not in my books yet. I know I can't run away forever and I doubt she missed not having me there. I mean, she rarely saw me anyway as it is. Since walking out the other day and being here, I have not received any texts or phone calls from her, I could have mysteriously vanished even then, I don't think she would have ever noticed. She couldn't give a crap unless Rachael told her I'm here.