Chapter 20

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I stared into the small, cracked mirror in the car. I looked deep into my eyes as I sat in silence.

What am I...?

I rubbed my face as I noticed that a beard was starting to grow. I could hear the screams of the people I had killed, all the pleas and the cries for help. Then Kristy's voice came.

"You're a monster," she had said.

I felt my soul slipping away, over and over again, until it was swallowed into the darkness. Just then, the passenger door opened, and Taylor hopped into the seat, holding a large green bag full of guns.

"I got them all... Every single one of them... The place is raided..." Taylor said, throwing the bag into the back seat. I didn't say a word as the screams still echoed in my head. I sat with my hands on the wheel. The inside of the car smelled musty and of older adults. "Axel..." I looked at Taylor as she looked back at me blankly.

"What do you want from me?" I asked blankly.

"I want you to say something." She said, clasping her hands in her lap.

"I don't know what you want me to say... I have nothing to say..." I said, looking into her eyes through the suit.

"I... I don't... Start the car..." She said, turning and looking out the front windshield. I started the car with a long sigh and turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry about Kristy." I lied, knowing that she wasn't dead. Taylor looked at me, tears in her eyes; she leaned over and hugged me. I hugged her back, looking out the passenger window, seeing Sarah, her brown hair blowing in the wind, her big eyes glistening in the afternoon sunlight. Taylor began to weep in my arms; though it was my fault, she was mourning, I didn't care. I couldn't do anything to help her any more than I already had. I rubbed her back in a comforting manner.

"Please... Please don't leave me... Don't ever leave me..." She whispered.

"I promise I won't leave you..." I said, continuing to rub her back. After about ten minutes of holding her, she sat up, laid her head against the headrest, and closed her eyes. I put the car in drive and pulled out of the place I had parked the car before. I drove around the square road and moved out of the town. I had nowhere that I thought I would go other than getting out of town. I just drove; that was what I was good at. I drove until nightfall; we had to use up two tanks of gas out of the four that we had taken from the pharmacy. I saw no sign of the truck that Chuck took. I pulled into a small motel in the middle of nowhere, as I began falling asleep at the wheel. I opened the car door and listened to the dinging sound that the car made. Just then, Taylor sat up, grabbing my arm, startled.

"Where are we?" She asked, looking around.

"We are at an abandoned motel," I said. She was climbing out of the car. Taylor opened her door and got out, grabbing the bag of food and water. I walked over to the first door on the left.

"How are we going to get in?" Taylor asked. I knocked on the door, making sure there weren't walkers. I waited momentarily, then backed up and kicked the door in.

"Like that," I said, walking in. The room was moist with the scent of cigarettes. There was a full-sized bed, a bathroom, and a TV in the center of the room. There was a small stove in the corner.

It's not much of a motel if you ask me.

I walked along the wall, ensuring no walkers were in the room. I came off the wall and peeked around the corner of the bed, nothing. I went into the bathroom, where nothing was.

"We are clear," I said, turning to Taylor in the doorway. She walked into the room, shutting the door. Together, we moved the heavy table the TV was on against the door.

"So, tell me. What did you do before this?" Taylor asked, sitting on the bed.

"I was a manufacturer who owned my own business," I said, looking through the bag of food we had. I grabbed a can of green beans and opened it with my knife.

"Do you have family?" She asked. My expression turned cold in the darkness of the room.

"My brother died at the beginning of the accident, and my wife... She- she died a few days ago." I said.

"Oh... I'm so sorry... I lost my family too, but before this all happened." She said.

"Good. You wouldn't want to see someone you love die a slow death that you couldn't prevent." I said, staring into her eyes. She took her mask off and wiped a tear from her eye. "I did..."

I felt like an idiot as I realized.

Kristy...

"I-"

"Don't, it's okay... You forgot. Just forget it." She said, pursing her lips.

"We all lose someone," I said. She looked at me, her nostrils flaring.

"I lost everything." She barked.

"I know. Me too." I said.

"No. Like I lost the last connection to my family that I had. I'm broken, shattered as a matter of fact." She said.

"Me too," I said. Her temper came down as she realized that we weren't different.

"Looks like we are both broken," Taylor said, wiping another tear from her eye.

"You should go to sleep. We have a trip that we have to take tomorrow." I said.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"Home," I said, crawling into the bed beside her. I laid my head against the pillow and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight, Axel," Taylor whispered, turning over on the bed. I didn't respond as I thought.

Home...

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