Corrupted Youth

451 28 5
                                    

Author: cosmic-latte

Genre: Mystery/Thriller apparently

No. of chapter read: 5

First Impression: Somebody dies. Sounds interesting. Somebody dying is always interesting. I hope I don't get some emo kids instead.

Cover: Are those flowers coming out of a heart? Ugh. *shudders*. While I'm all for metaphors, this one doesn't seem to fit the story. The title is CORRUPTED youth, so I was expecting vines and poison ivy smothering those flowers. The idea is nice, but it feel incomplete.

Cover rating: I want vines and poison Ivy!!!

Blurb: Okay, I was sure either Cat or Chase was dead after the first sentence. Apparently some Mina girl is instead.

I get the feeling too many characters are introduced, I don't know who they are so I don't really care how they cope. Since you say it's not emo teen fiction, but a mystery/thriller type of book, I want details on investigations, mystery and what's left unsolved.

So yeah, your blurb makes me think of sad emo kids and not an interesting mystery to be solved.

Blurb rating: Sounds like sad emo teen fiction

Let's get it on!

Second impression: What the hell did I just read?

Actual review (drum roll please):

Language: The language title of the section seems very inappropriate because the language itself isn't bad. There aren't many typos or glaring mistakes, but we do have:

- head hopping POV - at first, it seems to be close third but then, BAM! Omniscient *shudders*. And a clumsy omniscient that refuses to leave the close third perspective;

- messed up dialogue punctuation - can be fix by editing;

- messed up sentence structure - can be fixed a little harder by editing;

- names being repeated way too often, and not repeated when you can actually confuse the characters talking/acting;

- choppy, clinical prose of he did this, she did that, he did this again - given by not varying sentence length and structure.

Um, yeah, the thing seems all over the place. Which is confusing, again, because this thing isn't completely unedited and written in l33t.

BTW, for people asking me what l33t is - it's text language, containing words such as: i, ur, y, be4, lol, u, and also using numbers instead of letters: l33ts go 4nywh3r3 - which is very stupid

Language rating: choppy and clinical

Plot: Ah, the plot. You know, it took 5 freaking parts for Mina to die. Of course, we still don't know why that is, since it's probably the mystery, but, by God, why is anyone surprised? Mina's personality was off the charts! One second she was all cheery, then BAM! pessimism galore. How did no one realize she probably had a medical condition?

Instead, we're treated to a new year's where we meet 3 characters, a fight scene where we meet one more, and then another random POV from a friend never mentioned before. And they're all going to a party.

The last part I read was Mina's farewell note. And if she killed herself because Jordon secretly loved Mandy, I'm gonna kill myself.

So, yeah, not much happened. The next few chapters will probably be about Mina's friends dealing with her death, and I'm in no mood to read about depressed teenagers.

If you give a damn about what I think, it's that the mystery element should come much sooner. Or just move this to teen fiction.

Plot rating: Die faster!

Characters:

Cat: I had a heard time figuring out the personality of these characters. And you know what? I still didn't. I have no idea who Cat is. She seems so apathetic and Mina says she's optimistic. I didn't think she was optimistic. I didn't think she was anything at all.

Mina: She seems optimistic and easily excited. But then Cat says she's not. That's she's pessimistic and wants to escape the world. Okay, Cat, I take your word for it.

Chase: is apparently afraid of fireworks at fifteen. I'm picturing him as a dog, just so you know. He seems nice enough, but, again, except for the weird firework thing, I can't say anything about him.

Jordon: From the few seconds he appears, he seems like an asshole. I couldn't give you an objective reason.

Mandy: I have absolutely no idea who she is and what she wants from life even if I actually was supposed to be in her head for a chapter. Nope, have no idea what's going on.

Either I'm reading this wrong or everyone is a frightening empty shell. I'm scared.

Character rating: I'm afraid to be attacked by sentient dolls

Why I stopped reading: The writing is a little jumbled and I didn't connect to an character. They must have done something, though, because I'm mildly freaked out after reading this. Again, don't know why can't explain it.

Grade: Fail. I think the plot needs to move a little faster, the characters to be better rounded and the writing to flow a bit better. My two cents.

Can't think of a song even if I try, sorry.

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