This isn't a bonus per se, but I recently finished reading the Harry Potter series for the umpteenth time and I thought I'd have some fun with it. Harry Potter is one of my favorite series ever and I have nothing but love for it. But that doesn't mean I don't want to have a laugh.
I'm going to do something a bit unconventional, so bare with me.
Harry Potter and the most sopilers you can fit in the title:
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone which Voldemort was trying to steal using Quirrel
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets which was opened by Ginny Weasley who was possed by Voldemort using his diary/horcrux
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkabn who was Harry's godfather and innocent since the real murderer was Ron's rat
Harry Potter and the goblet of fire which chose Harry as the fourth champion of the Triwizard Tournament just so that he could win and end up in a graveyard where Voldemort could use his blood to return to power
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix who doesn't tell Harry about the prophecy that foretold that he and Voldemort must kill each other, so he breaks into the Ministry and gets Sirius killed
Harry Potter and the half-blood prince who is actually Snape who kills Dumbledore instead of Draco Malfoy just as he and Harry return from retrieving a fake horcrux
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows which Harry manages to collect just in time to have all the horcruxes destroyed, including the one inside of him, before killing Voldemort
Harry Potter from Hagrid's perspective:
Hagrid and that time he had a dragon for a few weeks in exchange for Dumbledore's secret
Hagrid and the time he went to jail for breeding a giant spider
Hagrid and the time his hipogriff got convicted
Hagrid and the time he almost killed his students with blast-ended screwts and the world founf out he was half-giant
Hagrid and the time he thought it was a good idea to teach a giant English
Hagrid and the time he had to burry the giant spider, and then his house caught fire
Hagrid and the time he did absolutely nothing important
Harry Potter from Dumbledore's perspective:
Dumbledore and the year when Harry Potter comes to school
Dumbledore and the year he is dismissed by the school governors who never appear again
Dumbledore and the year he lets two teenagers play with the laws of time and space
Dumbledore and the year he organizes the hunger games
Dumbledore and the year he avoids Harry and duels Voldemort
Dumbledore and the year he dies
Dumbledore and the year he's still more important than half the characters
Harry Potter from Malfoy's perspective:
Draco Malfoy and the time Potter refused to shake his hand
Draco Malfoy and the time he was almost important, but he was not
Draco Malfoy and the time he got mauled by a chicken-horse and punched by a girl
Draco Malfoy and the time he made some badges
Draco Malfoy and the time he had a brief power spell
Draco Malfoy and the time he tried to kill Dumbledore
Draco Malfoy and the time he had no idea whose side he was on
If you have any more ideas, keep em coming!
YOU ARE READING
The Evil Rant And Review Book
Random[CLOSED] Formerly The Evil Reading Request List, this has turned into a showcase of nasty reviews, a place for me to rant. I surprisingly don't rant a lot. The book was discontinued because real life is kicking my butt and I don't have the tim...
