Ha ha! You're probably expecting me to trash Saving Grace since I finished it years ago. And then again, you're probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me and why I'm publishing three reviews in one day.
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, THAT'S WHY!!!
Right, with that out of the way, let's have some fun!
Author: _cmturner_
Title: The Stolen Papyrus
Genre: Adventure (yes, there are other adventure books out there except for Too Young)
No. of chapters read: 56
First impression: Holy shit, it's Indiana Jones with actual archaeology and less Nazis.
Cover: It's sooo pretty. I'm literally drooling all over it. Anything with Liam Hemsworth on it could never fail. It looks so deserty. All it's missing is a papyrus on it, but I guess it was stolen (he he he).
Cover rating: Perfect! - yes, you read right, but I really love this one.
Blurb: That first sentence got me. Now I'm imagining Michaela hitting Nazis over the head with a shovel. It's a flattering image. It also got my attention with the murder investigation, stolen stuff, family history... yeah you're hitting all my weak spots.
Blurb rating: Me wanty to ready
Let's get it on!
Second impression: Look at all this archaeology and the lack of Nazis!
Actual review (drum roll please):
Language/Writing: You were probably expecting me to gush here too. Well, ha ha ha, I won't. Though pretty well edited, this needs an edit because OMFG take a look at that dialogue punctuation! Fix it, fix it, fix it! *throws holy water on it*
*breaths heavily*
Okay, now that's over, a part from some typos, the thing is tight and clean. Me likey. It's really easy to read and I'm enjoying the flow of the story. You know what I'm not enjoying? The lack of fucks, both spoken and otherwise. I think the story might be better with more swearing. Every story is better with more swearing.
Language rating: Fuuuuuck! - I'm saying it because the story lacks it.
Plot: How do I put this? OMFGJKLSDJALKdjla, stuff happens. Michaela's father stole some ancient papyrus that gave clues to the location of an awesomely rich grave. Michaela goes out to find that grave. Believe it or not, they find it without the papyrus which comes and goes throughout the story. It's not actually very important. It just triggers a lot of stuff.
So, yeah, basically, Michaela goes on a dig, runs into hot-as-hell-guy-who-probably-killed-her-father-and-left-her-to-the-dogs, a lot of dislike ensues, then we have grave robbing, psychotic Arabian guys, family drama in all forms and sizes, kidnapping, escaping kidnapping and an attempted robbery of the British Museum. Yup, a lot of stuff happens.
You know what's freaky? How after being kidnapped by Amir and barely escaping, she just shrugged it off and went back to the dig. I'm not sure if that's insanely brave or just plain insane.
Also, rob the British Museum. Pal, you might be influential in Egypt, but the EU will fucking own your ass, you dumb fuck. I hope you get jail, you old bastard!
Romance time! There's barely any of it. I want more romance, damn it! I want Xander to wipe the desert floor with Michaela and teach her the meaning of passion for something other than inanimate objects.
Plot rating: Complex and... MORE ROMANCE!
Characters:
Michaela: is smart, prim, proper, pretty good at getting herself out of shitholes, curious... the perfect protagonist. And probably insane and a 24 year-old virgin. Yup, I don't think she ever had a boyfriend. I liked following her around. Her bravery is appreciated. Also, her This-belong-in-a-museum! spirit. You go, girl! Love her name, too.
Xander: Is a douche when you meet him, but he sort of grows on you until you realize he's an ultra, hot, super secret agent. Yup. I'll give you ten million excuses mister. Just come at me, Harrison!
Mark/Nigel: Is awesome. I like how he's acting like Michaela's dad and wags his finger when she does risky shit. He's also not a completely incapable moron, so yay for him.
Karl: Oh, poor Karl. You're with the German aliens now, buddy. Liked him.
Emma: Is really fun and spunky. Liked her too.
Giovanni: Is it wrong that I pictured him like that old guy from Jurassic Park the whole time? Typical professor material.
Amir: You psychotic bastard! Kill it with fire! *throws balls of fire at him*
Al-Rashid: Rot in jail you fat bastard! I don't care if you're not fat! Just rot!
Other characters: Are realistic and awesome.
Character rating: Super duper.
Why I stopped reading: I unfortunately ran out of book. Here's toasting towards the prequel/sequel and everything in between. Because there better be some naughty bits soon or I'm going to get all pissy. You don't want me to get all pissy.
Grade: Pass in a raging sandstorm. Go read this. Like now!
Song: You know why ;)
YOU ARE READING
The Evil Rant And Review Book
Random[CLOSED] Formerly The Evil Reading Request List, this has turned into a showcase of nasty reviews, a place for me to rant. I surprisingly don't rant a lot. The book was discontinued because real life is kicking my butt and I don't have the tim...
