"I have no idea how not to think." - Unknown
(Edited on 7/26/18)
(Edited on 2/24/19)
DISCLAIMER, Possible Trigger Warning.
What I have written here is how I feel when having a panic attack, now obviously this is a different experience for everybody who deals with panic attacks but this how I feel, so if you are sensitive to descriptive explanations of this kind thing just skip this chapter so you don't freak out.
When you have a panic attack it's as If all you can feel is your blood rushing, your world spinning, as if, your dying inside and out.
Imagine feeling your blood boiling inside of you, it's hot and tingly, and, you can feel it rush by on the inside going a thousand miles per minute.
Your heart is beating so fast it feels like it's going to rip out of your chest, It's beating so loud it sounds like it's going to burst your eardrums.
Everything get's foggy and you can't seem to think about anything else, it's as if your body is there, but, you aren't.
People try to talk to you, but, you can't seem to be able to accumulate any coherent thoughts, because you're breaking down, you continue to try to calm yourself down, slow your breathing, and attempt to organize your swarming thoughts.
You try to cling onto that last little bit of sanity you have left, it's dangling at the edge of your fingertips, it seems so close, yet so far, It's like a rocking horse, teetering on the edge of your fingertips, rocking back and forth, back and forth, almost falling off the edge, but not quite tipping over fully.
It feels like a piece of you is missing, you feel as though your life has been destroyed in a crippling fire burning every single one of your cells and you can feel it all, you can feel all of your molecules melting one by one. You can feel your cells being lit on fire and burning slowly. It's like your world is spinning and you're being crushed by fire all around you, melting your skin away ever so slowly. you. Burning and screaming in agony, screaming for help, screaming for someone to rescue you. But, nobody does.
But because of this, you are one of the strongest people in this world. Lots of people don't realize how truly mentally exhausting having an anxiety disorder really is, and how much it interferes with your daily life. The anxiety attacks we have would drop the people who don't understand or make fun of us or say we are overreacting and need to get over it, to their knees. It would rip them apart piece by piece. While we, who deal with this every day are still standing strong on our feet because we will not be knocked down by ourselves, and the part that we cannot control as easily.
That rocking horse on the edge of your fingertips that's still teetering there is waiting, waiting to stop rocking, wondering which way it's going to fall. Asking you, if it's going to fall off the edge, or fall into the palm of your hand. You gather up enough mental power to make that rocking horse fall into your palm instead of crashing to the floor. And when it finally does it's as if everything is frozen, time and space have stopped. And you're the only living, breathing thing around you. You can hear your heart pounding and feel the sweat dripping off of your forehead, you can feel your cold, trembling body shaking like a leaf as if it's in the winter air. Slowly, your breathing calms down, your heart rate drops, you stop shaking and your eyes are no longer glassed over. Your eyesight is back and you can finally, hear everything going on around you. You're no longer burning from the inside out and you have calmed down a considerable amount. You're back, still, with the occasional residual tremble, though you don't mind because you don't feel as if you're dying anymore, and man, is that the best feeling in the world. The feeling where you know you have defeated all of your demons once again.
But, the most important thing to remember especially for me is to pray, to seek the Lord, Our Father who is watching over us constantly, He is good, and he will take the suffering away eventually. Everything we go through is for the plan he has set aside for us all and for the good in the long run.
I hope to talk to you guys soon if you ever need to talk just reach out to me, over the comments, in private messages, or even over Instagram at lilyifily_anxietyhelp, remember I am here for each and every one of you no matter what it may be about. Talk to me because I know how important it is to be able to talk to someone, so if you don't have that in your life you can always come to me and talk about anything.
Just remember to pray and you'll be okay.
Now in this chapter, I was talking about how it really feels to have an anxiety attack for me personally. Now obviously it will be different for everyone and some people have a different level of anxiety. It still feels really really bad no matter what, But I was telling you in this chapter how it feels for me and maybe some other people too. In all seriousness, if you ever feel this way or a similar way seek help. Whether it be from a professional or a close family member or friend. Just make sure you get help so you don't have to feel this way as much anymore. Now remember once you get help it's not gonna go way instantly it'll take a while even if It does go away which isn't a 100% chance but it may. Some people have better percentages than others. But I'm not a professional I only deal with it but I like to help people so if you ever need to talk or anything just DM me!
PRAY!!❤️
LOVE YA!!❤️
Love ya- lily
Xoxo
ČTEŠ
Anxiety
Literatura faktu"I started crying, and crying a lot, I mean like full-on crocodile tears type thing." Anxiety is more than a mental illness, it's a mental prison, and this is a book to help bring more awareness to it. (First-person point of view, self-help book) #...
