Persuasion

What Do I Know?

4:59

4:58

I watched the timer click down on my phone. I climbed the stairs in my grandparent's house running my fingers over the wood on the bannister. I walked down the hall, looking in the rooms upstairs. The whole house looked completely different. Grandma had sold or moved a majority of the furniture. It felt so empty now. I opened the door to mom's old room, the bed and dresser were covered with white cloths. I sat down on the corner of the bed and looked back at my phone.

3:04

3:03

I dropped the phone on the bed and laid back. My mind immediately drifted off to my night with Logan and the boys at the Tango club.

"Are you really going to marry Odette?" the words just sort of fell out of my lips before I had a chance to catch them. I know I wasn't supposed to ask but I just could help it, maybe it was the journalist in me, the liquid courage, or perhaps the finality of the whole night. Once I said it though, I was grateful. I wanted to know.

He paused, examining my face seemingly looking for the words that would hurt the least.

"That's the dynastic plan" he said.

Just thinking about that conversation I could feel myself wince. He knew what I meant. I wanted to know if he loved her. I wanted to know if this was his decision, or was it the Huntzbergers. It was easy to assume that Odette was just a pawn in the dynastic plan, a beautiful pawn, but a pawn none the less but what if it was more than that; what if SHE was more than that? What if they were in love? He deserved to be happy. I just wanted him to be happy. That thought sat in my throat.  

He wanted to give me house. Who does that? Normal people don't just give houses to their ex-girlfriend mistress. Was the house an apology for the way we ended things, because he felt like he was stringing me along? Or was it truly because he thought I needed somewhere to write? If I took the key and I stayed there I would still be his. I wanted to be his, but not that way. I wanted him to choose me, not keep me somewhere.

I kept thinking about that exchange, I should have pressed him for more information but before I had a chance to protest his vague answer, Colin made his announcement about buying the club. The moment had passed, there was no point in re-opening the subject. He didn't owe me an explanation. That wasn't the deal. That wasn't the arrangement.

My phone sounded that time had run out, snapping me out of my day dream. I lifted myself off the bed and wandered back downstairs into the bathroom. I took a deep breath and looked at the pregnancy test sitting on the counter.

Two lines.