Persuasion

I Was Made for Loving You

My Dearest Ace,

You wrote hard and clear about what hurts and although I'm hoping that it is no longer painful, I felt the need to repay the favor. In case it needs to be repeated, I love you. I have loved you since before I knew what it meant to truly love someone and if our time apart shows any indication I will continue to love you without hesitation or limitation.

There were so many things that I should have said to you that night in New Hampshire or in any of the times we were together over the last year. Call me a wuss or a chicken, I would deserve them both. I was afraid that if I told you all I was thinking that I would lose you forever and although that thought terrified me the fear of you rejecting me was stronger. Even when our goodbyes were eminent, I let my nerves get the best of me. I thought I would have some closure when I got back to London, but it was worse and I missed you more than I thought possible. Many nights I sat in my study drinking and reminiscing over the mementos I had from our time together; pictures, text messages, anything that reminded me of you.

I had so many firsts with you. You were my first girlfriend. You were the first girl I lived with. You were my first long distance relationship. You and I, we did things that should have been hard but when we were together it was easy. Ace, loving you was easy. You keep up with me while keeping me on my toes. You are passionate and breathtakingly beautiful. You changed me. You made me a better person.

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner and that I didn't make it clear just how much you meant to me. I'm sorry that it took us walking away from each other to tell one another how we felt, but mostly I'm sorry that you ever gave pause to the fact that I wouldn't be over the moon thrilled to be having a child with you. It will be another first, one that I am eager and ready to take on together. We will figure this out Rory, I'm certain of it, because we love each other and I refuse to let anything else stand in the way of that. Ernest Hemingway wrote "I didn't want to kiss you goodbye - that was the trouble - I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference." I will find a way to kiss you goodnight and nothing will get in the way of that- not oceans or families or dynastic plans.

We will be together soon.

Yours Always,

Logan