Persuasion

Shirtsleeves

My Dearest Logan,

Ernest Hemingway said to "write hard and clear about what hurts." I wanted nothing more than to have this conversation with you in person, to be able to look into your eyes and bear my soul, but unfortunately I did not have the courage. So I'm going to write hard and clear and hope that you read this letter.

I could have never imagined that someone that I met under such happenstance would have been such a large force in my life. You told me that some people live one hundred years without actually living for a minute, then you made my minutes so full of life. You were unlike anyone I had ever met before. You took me out of my comfort zone, you encouraged me to try new things and new experiences. You were a little wild and adventurous to my safe and calculated. We complimented each other. We had fun. We loved one another fiercely and without reservation. There were so many things that should have drove us apart but we had this magnetic attraction that only made us closer in the face of adversity. We were good together.

Watching you walk away from me was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and when you did, I didn't think that I would ever see you again. So when I saw you in Hamburg, I was caught off guard. I had spent so long trying to get over you and move on with my life and I saw you and it was all for naught. I didn't want to lose you again, thus the agreement, our trysts in London. I found myself using every excuse to come and spend time with you. Every time I was with you I was happy. Every time I wasn't, I was hit with the weight of the fact that you weren't mine to be happy with. We had to stop, but the burden of having to walk away from you again was heavy. I wanted to ask you to fight for me and choose me, but I couldn't ask that of you. I had made my choice all those years ago, and I didn't deserve to ask anything of you now.

There are so many things that I wished I had said to you. Logan, I love you. I have always loved you. My life is infinitely better with you in it. You are the person I want to wake up with in the morning, the one I want to talk to when I've had a bad day, the one I want by my side ready to take on the world. I choose you, and I'll keep choosing you over and over without pause, without a doubt. All I ask in return is that you choose me.

We are Commander Wentworth and Anne Elliot. "I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant." I know that it seems trite to quote Jane Austen in a love letter, but there it is.

Yours always (if you will have me).

Ace