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Guilt. So much guilt.
I haven't seen Justine since the fight. That's when I truly realise the difference between relationship break-ups and friendship break-ups — the latter feels so much worse. I can't even describe it. It's like one minute they're there, and the next... they're nowhere near you.
School is very weird. Awkward. Tense.
Weird because it doesn't feel the same walking in the hallways alone, and not with your six-person group. Awkward because for some reason, everyone's staring at me.
Tense because apparently it got out that I fucked up.
My reputation could not be worse. Ten times the damage control.
"So, is anyone going to explain to me why everyone is treating us like social pariahs?" Sean starts.
Since the gang is broken apart (I hate that word) — with Liv and Vic on their own, Justine mostly wth her girlfriends, and Jude almost nowhere to be found — Trey and I usually stick to each other. There's nobody else, anyway.
Except his additional friends.
"Yeah," Landon added, leaning in from the bench in front of us. Then he curses. "Jude wasn't mad that I spilled alcohol on you, right? I mean, you're not mad..."
What the heck is he talking about? The memory suddenly resurges. "That was you?" I gape. Blacklist Party... someone spilling their drink on me at the front door... Jude giving me his peppermint-scented shirt —
Jude.
Landon cringes. "Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't in my... right mind... so you may not have recognised me."
"Wait." Trey holds up a finger. "I'm aware this was rather a long time ago, but you didn't bother telling me you were going to the party?"
"I was with different people," he says vaguely, "and ended up with more differentpeople."
"Wasn't that when Jess — ow!"
Sean punches Keith in the shoulder, resulting in a massive glare coming his way. All the guys, though, oddly don't ask any questions, which tells me that it's a story they all know. And a story they don't want to share with me.
Oookay.
"About answering your eager inquiries." I clear my throat. "Trey and I, we kind of fucked up."
