"Is this okay Nathan?" Emma peers up at me softly, her eye lashes fluttering over her iris's, hands stilled on my shaking shoulders.
She thinks it hurts your arms, laying like that. You're so weak, so pathetic-
It's easier to rid myself of such thoughts, especially since I know they're very untrue. I know why I'm shaking, and it has nothing to do with my ability to withhold my body weight over hers.
I'm shaking because Emma looks like the break of day beneath me. Shaking because her hair is fanned out over the pillow, and the lamp light keeps catching in her eyes when she blinks. Her body is matched to mine, every soft curve and dip of her figure presses against the edges and angles of my own, and it feels so undeniably good to have her so close that I feel guilty; feel like this is wrong.
She doesn't like you, she hates being so close, she can't wait to leave this room, forget any of this ever happened-
"I'm o-okay wi-with i-it. A-are y-you?" My arms are braced to launch me off her at the first sign of discomfort; apologies already forming on my tongue, ready to be spoken.
"Nathan, of course I'm okay with it." Her hands reach up to cup my jaw, and slowly guide me back down, until my lips brush hers softly, almost teasing.
There's no rush with Emma, no urgency, and truthfully, that's a relief. I could live a thousand lives, and it still wouldn't give me all the time I need. Not when every inch of her deserves to be appreciated. Not when I'm still exploring the roundness in her jawline, or the junction of her neck and shoulder. Not when her skin is this soft under my lips, not when she makes this adorable gasping noise if I kiss the dip in her collarbones.
Frankly, I think she has a lot to explore too; her fingers are endlessly tracing, working from the shape of my eyebrows down to my nose, and then back up my jaw line. They trail from my Adam's apple to my collar bones and back again before pressing into my shoulders, which are taut with the restraint of not letting my full weight rest on her.
I can feel the change it makes, her actions. I can feel how with every brush of her finger tips; my heart beats a little faster. I can feel that when her soft, warm breath fans over my skin, it makes me want to melt. I can feel how, rather than making me question myself, her soft hands roaming my skin makes me feel stronger; better, more like the kind of man who deserves even a minute of Emma Dawn's time.
It gives me the blinding courage I need to press just a little closer, to draw her in, gather her up against me like I never want to let go. In this moment, truthfully, I don't; I never want to stop. I never want to wake up one morning and not be able to do this, never want to start a morning from this day forward without her by my side.
Somewhere, a more confident, proud part of me tells me I won't have to; one day, with a ring on her finger and a change in her last name, I'll be able to do this, every morning, every night, every day if I could.
But then the doubt creeps in; the insecurities leak through my hope, and it crushes it so fast it physically hurts.
No girl as perfect as Emma would waste a day of her time on you, not forever. You'll be lucky if you ever even get married, if anyone ever wants to pretend they like, to pretend they could ever love-
My thoughts change in an instant; as soon as Emma's lips brush the junction between my neck and shoulder, I'm a goner, and she knows it. Her teeth just barely graze the sensitive skin, and now I really am shaking.
Her hands on my chest can practically feel the sound that rises up out of my throat, and my mind is so preoccupied with the wonders of her mouth that I barely have time to be embarrassed about it.
ΔΙΑΒΑΖΕΙΣ
Love, Emma
Εφηβική Φαντασία"E-Emma? It's okay y-you know. I-I'm used to i-i-it." "You shouldn't have to be, some people disgust me, the nerve of them." "I can't blame t-t-th-them, I m-mean l-l-l-look at m-me." He sounds so defeated, even though I can tell he's trying to hide...
