The Almost Kiss |Becstin|

Chapter 5. Why am I so terrible...

Hey guys, Grace here(: hope you are enjoying the
story.

I cant really tell if you like it cause only one person votes every chapter and the story has like 60 views.

So please vote and comment it would mean a lot... or I may just give up and delete the whole thing.

Also if you like scary stories check out my Jeff the killer and Jane The Killer stories.

Please if it isn't too much to ask.

well I wont hold you up any longer

Heres the next chapter! cx

-Grace

(Becky's P.O.V)

I stare at the ceiling I was done crying.. over him

I really need to find someone who actually likes me

and isn't already in a relationship... like austin

GOSH I HATE CAMILA SO MUCHHHH!

Why did she get Austin.. Why didn't I grab him before she did.. I would've..

but I was already in a relationship back then..

but I'm single now...

its a hard knock life... (from the movie Annie)

-sighs- I'm now certaintly that I am in love with

Austin Mahone. But, I will change that. I'm gonna stop liking him, not talk to him anymore.. and find a boyfriend.

It is for the best... I guess...

I cant be friends with Austin anymore..

Or I'll just fall in love with him deeper then I already am, and end up hurting myself again..

I can't let that happen... I really can't.. not again... not this time..

I'm officially done talking to Austin Mahone.

I'll just start off with ignoring him and hope he gets the message...

Even though I hate to hurt him like that..

But it doesn't matter... He probably doesn't care about me anyway..

He's probably pretending..

Just for the fame... and fans..

-takes out phone, goes to contacts-

I'm sorry.. I whisper.. as I go to his name and delete him / block him.

-checks time-

Already 8pm... Still haven't ate anything..

Oh well I'm not that hungry anyway... It doesn't even matter if I eat... I'll eat in front of people but, I'll purge later on when I'm alone..

No one cares...

My parents are dead, my sister and me are distant

I'm distant from the rest of my family too...

Its my fault my parents are dead...

-tears threaten to come out of my eyes-

They were killed in a car accident...

Three years ago... right when I started becoming famous...

They were on their way to pick me up from school because I missed the bus..

They would still be here if I hadn't missed the FUCKEN BUS

-BURSTS INTO TEARS-

ITS ALL MY FUCKEN FAULT, FUCKEN BUS

FUCKEN SCHOOL FUCKEN EVERYTHING

WHY DID I HAVE TO MISS THE FUCKEN BUS

WHY DID GOD CHOOSE TO DO THIS WHY

IT WASNT TIME FOR THEM TO GO.. IT WASNT

GOD HATES ME THIS FUCKEN MUCH????!!!!!!

THEN THE DEVIL MUST FUCKEN LOVE ME.

THEY PROBABLY WORKED TOGETHER TO DO THIS

TO DO THIS TO ME, MY FAMILY, MY LIFE, MY PARENTS

THE ONES THAT TRUELY CARED ABOUT ME THE ONES THAT

WERE THERE FOR ME WHEN I WAS BULLIED IN HIGHSCHOOL

AND MIDDLE SCHOOL GOD DAMNIT

TODOS LOS DERECHOS RESERVADOS QUE DE LA MISMA QUE LA PASES LINDO DE DE ACUERDO A LO MEJOR QUE DE LA MISMADE QUE DE LA FORMAMÁS .

(IDK what that means I just wanted it to seem like she

was yelling in spanish hehe cx I'm not the best at it)

-THROWS PILLOW, HITS A PICTURE ON MY DRESSER-

shit...

I go over to my dresser to pick up the broken picture.. and take a look at it.. then start to cry some more..

It was a parents of me with my parents when I was 5.

When we took a trip to hawaii... and now its broken...

-picks up the broken glass-

I deserve this... I deserve this pain

I made my parents die.. I made my family grow distant...

-more tears spill out-

I made Austin only like me as a friend...

I scratched the glass across my wrists and thighs

The only thing was wearing was a big t-shirt and underwear...

The pain felt good... and I missed it.

Only this glass and my blades understand... only them

No one else.. they act like they do but they dont..

Everyone will be happy if I leave... Its December 4.

The day my parents died... I'm killing myself on Christmas eve...

So I have to survive until then...

But then again I shouldn't because well its christmas man.

-lays down on my bed-

Its 11pm now...

Wow time goes by really fast...

I ignore the itchy bleeding hurting cuts and close my eyes.. going to sleep...wishing my death would come early and that I wont wake up in the morning...

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