if i love you was a promise | b.e

six

"fuck." i blurted out as billie pulled away.

"sorry, i-" billie started.

"no. don't be. i, uh.." i didn't quite know how to explain myself without sounding crazy.

"that was dumb of me. im-"

"billie." i interrupted her, "i kissed you back."

she sighed and stayed silent for a moment. "so..." she looked me in the eye, searching for some type of reaction.

instead of answering, i repositioned myself so i was kneeling next to her. i took her head in my hands and kissed her again. i felt her shoulders sink as she relaxed a little, and she sighed quietly. knowing i had that effect on her made me feel some type of way, i couldnt quite explain it.

when i sat back down, she shook her head, i was pretty sure it was a tic. "this is crazy." she laughed. "for you? shits surreal for me." i replied.

she took my hand in effort of pulling me under the covers with her. "it's already morning, we should try to get as much sleep as we can." she said softly, pulling the string to turn the lamp off behind us. we pulled the duvet up over our shoulders and tried to sleep, despite the early sun shining in on us, giving the room an orange glow.

just as i had started drifting off, i felt a warm leg on top of me. i turned my head to see billie, face down to the pillow, sprawled across the bed. i giggled softly at how adorable she was in her sleep.

**
i woke up to a bright beam of light in my eyes, and billie's leg still on top of me. i took the time to admire her before she woke up. her cheek was squished up against the feather pillow, her hair was half tucked messily behind her ear and her mascara had smudged under her eyes. i could faintly hear the steady rhythm of her breath.

i reached for my phone to find it was 12:36. we had managed to get almost seven hours of sleep in, which was surprising considering the time we went to sleep.

i opened my instagram to check my fanpage. a feeling of guilt came over me suddenly, i knew every one of my followers would kill to be where i was at that moment. i posted a random picture from my camera roll before going through my notifications to reply to comments from yesterday.

"who's that bitch?" i heard from behind me and i almost jumped out of my skin. billie was leaning on my shoulder, watching me. "i don't know. she's irrelevant." i joked and billie laughed lowly.

she got off of my shoulder and lay on her pillow again, stretching out her arms and legs before flopping back down again. "fuck this." she groaned, sitting up.

"you have another show today, right?" i asked her. she gave an eye roll as a response. "what time do you have to get to the venue?" i smiled at her moodiness.

"soundcheck is at 3." she looked down, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"it's almost one." i told her. "hmm." she looked away, thinking about what to do. "ill get my mom to bring us breakfast up here. do you want to shower?" she looked up at me, her natural smiling face already brightening my day. "you can go first." i smiled. she looked at me for a little longer than normal before replying, "thanks."

**

billie came out of the shower and went straight to the phone to call maggie and patrick's room three doors down. she was wearing a towel still so she wasn't going to go to their room.

i slipped into the bathroom to take my own shower, folding billie's clothes and placing them by the sink. i could hear billie outside giving maggie a list of things to bring. "thanks.. also, i kinda wanna talk about something." i heard her say. i assumed it was about the show later that day. maybe her sleep, or lack thereof. i didn't let it phase me, and i climbed into to shower and let the boiling water seep into my skin.

**

maybe fifteen minutes later, i was out of the shower, combing through my hair. billie knocked on the door and opened it, peering her head around and holding out what looked like a shirt, a hoodie and sweatpants. "here. moms gonna bring breakfast in five." she winked at me and shut the door. i shook my head, laughing, unfolding the clothes she had given me.

i came out of the bathroom and billie looked me up and down and said "is that ok? i tried to pick my... normalest clothes." she grinned.

"yeah, thank you so much." i replied. billie opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by a knock on the door. "fucking finally." she leaped up to open the door and revealed maggie holding two trays of food. my first reaction was to run over and help her, so i took one tray from her and put it down on the bed and she laid the other down. "thank you, joey." maggie said in the sweetest voice.

"i wasn't sure what to get for you, so just got breakfast cereal and toast, is that ok?" she asked me, and my heart melted at how considerate she was. "thats perfect maggie. you really didn't have to." a smiled at her and she smiled back.

"now, billie, what did you want to talk about?" maggie changed the topic and we both looked at billie.

billie looked at me, then at maggie with a slightly concerned face, and asked "can we talk outside?"

as soon as they left the room i walked to the opposite side. of course i wanted to know what they were talking about, it was filling me with anxiety, but the last thing i wanted was to overhear something i shouldn't.

billie walked back in after about ten minutes. she shut the door carefully behind her, and stood facing it for a minute. "i need to talk to you." she said, her eyebrows furrowed together, as if she was afraid to say that sentence. i walked over and sat next to her on the bed. i was guessing what they were talking about was something about me, and i was just hoping billie wasnt regretting our kiss last night, or just letting me stay at all.

she took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and said "this is.. so out of the blue, and a huge ask..." she licked her lips and looked down, then said,

"i want you to come on tour with me."