Objection | SVU

Chapter 37

[A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so long! It's been a crazy couple of months with me traveling abroad and dealing with getting ready for senior year of college. I hope you all enjoy!]

It had been a crazy year or two, but Rafael and I were thriving. He was the best father possible to our little girl, and she was the most incredible little baby. Ariana Katherine Barba was born, as is typical in mine and Rafael's life, in dramatic fashion. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia in one of my prenatal checkups, and the doctors made the decision to deliver my baby early. During my delivery, there were some complications and it was pretty touch and go for a while. It was terrifying for me, but I can't even imagine how scary it was for Rafael.

I had continued my work both with the SVU in Manhattan and with the Nassau County DA's Office, and I was absolutely loving my work. Rafael was solidifying his stature as one of, if not the best ADAs in Manhattan. I had grown closer with Liv and Rollins since I could relate to having a kid, and they always helped me when I felt in over my head. I knew that my first priority now was my family, and that I needed to take less cases in the field and start to transition more to my law career.

"Good morning, cariño." Rafael whispered lovingly, kissing my cheek as I stirred awake. I groaned and looked at the alarm clock. 7:15. It was a Friday morning, and like the little angel she was, Ariana was sound asleep.

We had truly lucked out. She was the best baby in the world - she rarely cried and was almost always smiling and laughing. She absolutely adored Rafael, which made my heart melt. Our perfect little family was finally taking shape.

I sat up in bed and cuddled up next to Rafael. I sighed, and he asked, "Are you alright?" I replied, "Yeah... I'm a lucky girl." I could feel him pull me closer as he replied, "What makes you say that?"

"Well, for starters, I have an incredible husband and an angelic child who I love with all of my heart." I smiled as Rafael kissed my forehead and said, "I'm the lucky one, Jess." I paused and looked up at him, his tone serious.

"I could have lost you."

Flashback (Barba's POV)

"Jess, we need to deliver the baby now. We tried to wait and let you come full term, but the blood flow to your baby and her development is being stinted by the preeclampsia."

I looked down at Jess, who looked terrified. "I'm not ready for this, Rafi. I'm scared." Her voice was shaking as the nurses prepared her for a c-section. I was slightly unnerved as she spoke to me - I had never seen her this scared before. I replied, "You'll be okay, Jess. You can do this. I'll be here the whole time, okay?"

Jess nodded, and I was given scrubs to wear into the operating room. I quickly got changed as they prepared to take Jess in to the OR, and I took a deep breath that I didn't know I was holding in. Jess wasn't the only one who was terrified. But I had to be strong for her.

I followed the nurses into the operating room, and I held Jess' hand the whole way. My thumb rubbed the back of her hand, and I looked down to see her on the verge of a panic attack. As we arrived in the OR, I sat with her as the doctors and nurses got ready.

"What if something happens to the baby?" She asked, her voice shaking. I took in a sharp breath. "No, you can't think that way, cariño. She's going to be just fine."

"That's what I thought last time," she said, her voice deflated and defeated. We hadn't told anyone about her miscarriage from before. Jess had gone back to work after it happened, and she never took time to process, but it was obvious that she was hurting. Nobody knew why except me.

That night that she lost the first baby, she cried in my arms for over an hour. She blamed herself for losing the baby. She wouldn't forgive herself for what happened, even though she had no control over it.

Jess was also terrified because of the news that we got last time, along with the news during her pregnancy this time. In her previous pregnancy, we discovered that she had what was called an ectopic pregnancy. The baby was growing outside of the uterus, and it was putting her in danger. That was hard enough for her to go through.

Now she was dealing with preeclampsia, which we were hoping that we had managed and controlled enough so that she wouldn't develop eclampsia during her delivery. The chances of her getting eclampsia during delivery were slim, but so were the chances of her having an ectopic pregnancy before.

As the doctors began the procedure, everything was going smoothly as planned. I was holding Jess' hand and calming her down. The nurses were keeping us in the loop as everything was happening, and just as I thought everything was going to be just fine, I felt Jess flinch.

I looked over to see her eyes closed and her body convulsing - she was having a seizure. I held on to her hand for dear life as the nurses and OR staff attempted to tell me to leave so that they could take care of her and our baby. One of the nurses guided me outside the OR, and I sat outside and completely broke down.

I couldn't lose her.

Flashback Over