Three Words, I Love You ✔️

17: Until 3:03 AM

|17: Until 3:03 AM|

((Nemo's pov)) -the beginning might be a lil sad I'm screaming ok enjoy feel free to skip if it gets too intense for you ❤️❤️ OK BYE

There are some nights where I don't sleep.

And there are some nights where I am able to sleep.

But... most of the time... I can't sleep.

I cry. I try to hold it in but I always fail. I fail every damn time.

It's always when everyone is asleep. When nobody can see my weak side, and they can keep the strong, mean, arrogant image of me.

It starts at 3:03 AM, exactly on the dot. Never earlier, never later.

It begins with my throat. I can feel it start to close up and it's suddenly difficult to breathe. I can't breathe. No matter how many times I swallow spit or chug down water, it feels dry. Then everything I see is a blur... my eyes are watering. They burn... they itch. Before I know it, the tears are escaping. They soak up my pillow... they drench my face and neck. And I want to scream. Fuck, do I want to scream.

But I can't. 

Instead, I throw out a quiet 'fuck' here and there. I have to sit up, or I'll end up choking.

My face gets hot, it feels like it's on fire. The tears are hot themselves. My chest feels tight and heavy. I tug at my hair because I get irritated and pissed off that I even let myself become this way.

I used to be fine. I used to be able to get into my bed, and not worry about a damn thing in the world. I used to be able to look at myself in the mirror, and not hate how tired I look. I used to be able to look my mom in the eye and have a simple conversation with her.

But one stupid night with a stupid girl changed everything.

I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for Leigh... that little shithead.

A part of me regrets every fucking thing I did with her. From the simple shy glances, to the full on kissing. I should hate her. I really should...

But I... I can't. Even though she's gone now I just... I can't. I get the feeling that it's all my fault.  She'd still be here if wasn't for me.

I walk through school, avoiding all the people who throw themselves at me... being mean to whoever tries to be nice to me because I don't want to feel good again. That barely makes sense but it does to me. If I let my walls down, I'll only get hurt again and I'm not ready for that.

I walk through school with Leigh on my mind most of the time. All my regrets try to swallow me whole. Everyone just thinks I'm mad, and I guess I am.

But throw in a few cups of hurt and a big pinch of tiredness.

Kevin's horniness doesn't help at all. He's always going on about how all the girls love him and how he has... appointments in the bathroom during class. He says he's going to set me up with 'Ms. Perfect'. First of all, Kevin has shitty taste in women. Second of all, what makes him think I'll trust him? I can make my own decisions.

Every day, I go about my day with a frown on my face. I feel numb... nobody can make me feel anything. Not even the person who can flirt the best.

Then... I see Adaline.

And my frown softens.

She's short, not a whole lot of curves but she's got some. Yes I've checked her out, I can't help it. Her dark curly hair frames her face perfectly. Her smile lights up any room.