The Girl He Had To Marry- An Arranged Marriage Story

Chapter Fourteen: Spiraling

Penelope actually got a callback for her most recent audition. She called Daniel right away. It was her second ever audition and she got a callback.

To say the least, Penny was excited.

She spent the next week learning a new monologue and even paired lines.

Even though she got this amazing opportunity, so many other people did as well. A little part of her is trying to convince her that she doesn't deserve it. She tries to keep those dark thoughts out of her mind and just suppress what happened. It's not healthy, but it is not something she is doing consciously.

She went alone. It went very similar to the other ones. She sang the same songs, said a new monologue, acted with another person, and did a little dance routine.

Not long after, she was just done.

That was it. No one stared at her funny, no one complimented her. It was almost...underwhelming.

Penny didn't think much about it. She wanted to stay hopeful, but rejection and disappointment clung on to her. It all makes a person wonder if this was the right career choice. Her mother always told her to follow her heart, but how long can her heart last.

She pushes these thoughts and feelings away. It was better to remind neutral than worry over trivial matters.

A few painful days later, she got an email.

We are sorry to inform you but will not be going with you. This was a difficult decision to make because there were so many talented individuals including yourself. Blah, blah, blah...

Penny was a little disappointed. She got a callback but didn't land anything; so, of course, she would be a little disappointed. She forwarded the email to Dan, and he found her a few auditions for the week. He claimed that it would take less time to find a role if she mass auditioned all around New York.

So that is what she did for the rest of the month and halfway into the next.

Audition after audition. Sometimes a callback was sprinkled in there, but all had the same email.

We are sad to inform you...

We are sorry to tell you...

Unfortunately...

One after another, call or email, telling her that there were better people out there. Nothing in the emails told her that what she was doing was bad at all. People were just better.

This started to get to Penny by the end of her first month in New York, which was October. At this point she had mass auditioned for three weeks and it had been a whole month since she moved to New York.

Sadly, it had also been a month since she saw anyone from the Romano family. She did not expect to see Ben and Aubrey, since they both had their own families. Quentin was also someone she expected to barely see. It took some time to convince herself of that fact because she thought that they could actually have an amicable relationship. What really got her down was that she never saw Amelia and Dante (who are both retired) Addison, or Daniel. Addison was looking for a new job, and it is possible that she got one, but it could have still been possible for her to visit Penny. The same goes for Daniel. Penny knew that he was busy, but she was wondering why he hasn't visited her since her first audition. The loneliness started to kick it. Ms. Birdie was there, but she was always there. The isolation and failure...the only thing that was missing was her own father screaming in her ear. However, even though he is dead, she could still hear him whisper in her eye.

You are a failure.

You don't deserve anything.

You are worthless.