Dear Diary, it wasn't love

5

Dear Diary,

The light shining into my bedroom is brighter than usual today. It looks to me as if today's going to be a warmer day than this past week, which makes me look forward to tonight's events.

I make my way downstairs and fix myself up a snack and get some coffee brewing. I really shouldn't be drinking this much coffee at only eighteen, but with a mother as intense as mine, one cannot blame me for needing something to calm my nerves, whilst also speeding up my response times to her incessant interrogations.

Mom!

I reach for my phone and dial her number. Hopefully, she's alongside dad right now because I haven't really spoken to him much since I moved here. He is rather busy - so is mom, of course - but she gets away with being absent from board meetings more so than dad. However, if a baby is being born right about now, she cannot escape. She is Seattle's finest pediatric surgeon and she is proud to brag. A female helping another female bring a child into the world - she considers it a gift.

My previous thought is proved correct when she misses my call.

Dad might be free.

I wait and listen to the third ring pressed against my hear. Just as I'm about to end the call, I hear his deep voice,

"Capri, you caught me at a good time. I am on my way in for a liver transplant. Today is going to be a good day. How are you, honey?"

As if I'm not reminded daily that he is saving lives and mom is bringing life into the world, whilst they believe that I'm here learning to do the same.

I am the world's worst daughter.

Or greatest liar...

"Classes are great so far, dad. I have biology, physics, statistics and math all in one term. It is definitely going to be exhausting, but at least I have Perri here." Lies.

"That makes me so happy to hear, Capri. Honestly, I just want to know that you are doing your best and that you are happy. Nothing brings me greater joy than knowing my daughter is going to be saving lives too, one day."

I won't be.

"Yeah dad, everything will just work itself out. Oh, listen dad, I just wanted to check in. I need to head into the campus store soon to pick up some supplies for my statistics class tonight."

More lies.

"Okay kiddo, if you ever need any help, you can always give me a call! Love you."

"Don't worry dad, Perri is here to help out as much as I need her to. Thank you, love you. Bye!"

Lies, lies, lies.

I head back upstairs after I've finished my coffee. I really need to do something about my hair for tonight's sorority mixer.

And just like that, I'm holding my straightener to a thin strand of my hair. I wait and drag it down slowly along the length and watch - and listen - to it burn.

This will take me an hour because of how heavy my hair is.

Correction: It somehow takes me two.

**

"Have you figured out what you'll wear tonight?" Perri barges in and throws herself onto my bed.

I come out of the bathroom with my pin-straight hair, very pleased with myself and put it on display for her to ogle over. Which, she does.

"You never wear it straight! Wow, Ryder is going to lose his mind when he sees you tonight. We need to pick out the sexiest outfit. Like, now."