19 ~ Torn

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Adam
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Why was she constantly on my mind? She was like an infectious disease flowing through my blood, slowly taking over each inch of my body. She was like an addiction forcing my being to crave more.

And I hated it.

But then I loved it.

But then I hated myself for loving it.

I sat at my desk just as she slammed the door behind her yelling something about me being full of hate. I was too busy thinking about how cute she looked when she was angry.

However, she was also so powerful. The way her shoulders jerked back to make herself look taller when she was about to start an argument. Or the way she popped out a hip when she was trying to prove a point. It made me feel weak, yet proud that she was mine.

She would be yours if you would show her some respect you brainless human, My wolf, Nero, argued.

I refuse to make myself look weak to her, I replied.

You're being ridiculous, he continued. Do you want her to reject us?

The mere thought of her rejection made me feel sick. I decided not to answer him, suddenly annoyed.

"Adam-"

"Duke, I really don't wanna talk about it," I sighed and sat myself down on the chair behind the desk.

"I can respect that, but if you need me just mind link me," he replied, making his way to the door. "Cam, you coming?"

"Yea, just give me a minute." Cam replied. Duke nodded and closed the door.

"Fucking mates, huh?" Cam asked.

"It's shit crazy, man." I replied. Cam has always been my best friend. Although he's not my Beta, but my third-in-command, we just clicked in elementary, and have been friends ever since. I had thought to make him my Beta, but we had a voting ceremony to let the people of the pack have a choice. I think most of them chose Duke just 'cause Cam is known for his irresponsibility.

"So what's it like?" Cam asked, looking curious. "Having a mate, I mean."

I looked up at him and sighed. "It's fucked up, I'll tell you that." I began, looking down at some papers in front of me, but not really reading them as I left the words out of focus. "It's like I would do anything to please her. Like all I want to do is hold her when she starts to tear up. Like I just want to smash her into the nearest wall and crash our lips together. But also like I want to shake her senseless to get to understand how I feel. Yet I know that I can't just give into her-"

"Because you hate being weak," Cam interrupted.

"Precisely, and I can't have that happen again." I replied, placing my head in my hand and sighing.

"I think you need some time alone," Cam said. "But personally... Go get the girl. You won't look any less strong, at least not to her. Just mind link me if you need me." He finished off.

"Thanks, man." I replied. I stood up and we shook hands, but it ended up in a hug.

Emotional, right?

"Okay, honey, I think that's enough hugging for one day." I told him.

"Tell me if you need anything," he said as he left, blowing me a kiss as he left. "Mwah," he said, fluttering his eyelashes. He always had a way to lighten my mood, even if it was for just a second.

"Oh, just go already." I replied. When he left I got up and made my way to the cupboard on the side of the room and took out a bottle. And another. And another.

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