to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 59

March 24th, 2024

"Oh, I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up, but I know,
A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved..."

Beckett

The next month went by at a tortious pace, and I watched my girlfriend turn into a ghost.

We were all still coming to terms with everything, but Bailey's form of processing was shutting down. Every once in a while she'd have a good day, but they came far in between.

She'd still ride to school with me in the mornings, but we didn't laugh on the way like we used to. Bailey usually stayed silent, and the only thing that gave way to her still being in there somehow was the way her hand would reach for mine as I drove. She'd lean her head against the window the whole drive, and when we got to school she'd kiss my cheek before going straight to class.

She didn't go to her locker, where Wren always waited, hoping today would be the day Bailey approached her. Wren's face fell every time, like she was a puppy and someone just kicked her. She'd quickly recover though, building that wall of hers back up.

I'd stop to check on her before I went to class, and she always asked the same thing.

"Is she sleeping?"

I never knew how to answer, because I didn't know.

My girlfriend's eyes were always heavy, and the bags couldn't be hidden with makeup. She was still beautiful, but it broke my heart to not see her as herself.

On the good days, I'd get a soft smile. But other than that, she always thinned her lips, like she was trying not to cry.

I didn't want to push her, because we were all there when she made the promise to her grandfather. Bailey wouldn't break it. If she was truly shutting all of us out, she wouldn't hold my hand, she wouldn't kiss my cheek, or give me those small smiles on a good day.

She's still in there.

The only one she was shutting out was Wren. My heart was with Bailey, but my head understood why Wren did what she did. And if I were in her position, I hate that I would have done the same thing.

She gave the man his last wish, and shoved her hurt aside to make it happen. She hurt people in the end, mainly Bailey, but she made a dying man happy.

Her best friend's grandfather.

Bailey knew it too. I could see it in her eyes that she knew Wren had reason, but she still feels betrayed. So I'd be here while she needed me, I'd do whatever she asked.

But I would check on Wren too. Because if and when Bailey is ready, and she will be one day, I want to make sure Wren hasn't gone anywhere.

They're still set to live together in the fall, and I know it's still what Bailey wants. Wren hasn't pushed Bailey to talk to her, she's respected her space, and even though it breaks her, I know Bailey appreciates it.

As for Grandpa Matt, he's still walking and talking. He goes to bed earlier, and sleeps more during the day, but when he's awake he's talking. His eyes have begun caving in more, but the love he holds for us all is still clear as day.

I take Bailey straight home after school, and there's always a split second of hesitation before she gets out of the truck. Like she can't decide if she wants to walk into that house, to the sleeping man on the couch.

The sleeping man who is slowly dying in front of all of us.

But she always does.

She always, always does.