Behind The Smile||Karmagisa

Epilogue

"Tell me this is not happening right now and I'll actually believe you."

"You're being too stiff, Karma," Levi tried to encourage me, patting my shoulder for support as he stretched a small smile. "He's going to walk right in here and this whole thing would seem more of a dream." 

I still couldn't put my finger on today, the feeling of this white tux on me. Still can't believe that this is all happening right in front of me. I was so ready to just wake up in bed and realize it's all just a dream. I felt like my heart was about to land right into my hands and I'd have to swallow it back like a cough drop. 

"There're so many people here. Why are so many people here?" I almost choked on how fast I said that. 

"Because it's a fucking wedding, idiot," Levi rolled his eyes, fixing a few strands of hair that dropped on his face. "You got two actors here, a world-known game programmer, the talk of town bartender, a famous lawyer, and a loved teacher. Of course, people are gonna talk, airhead."

The priest behind us chuckled, "You don't have to worry, Mr. Akabane. This is your special day." 

I smiled, muttered a soft gesture of thanks and went back to staring at the door 20 feet away from where I was standing. Levi had helped me out in reserving this place for today, Eren helped with invitations and Izaya helped with almost everything else; said he's done research on these type of things.

"Smile," I heard Levi whisper. "Everyone's staring at you."

My eyes glanced to every face in the room, slightly shaking when he spoke the truth. Everyone was looking at me, eagerly waiting for me to make the biggest decision in my life. It makes me truly wonder what I did to deserve all of this. 

I met Nagisa ten years ago, assigned to kill him and bring back his head. Our first date happened a few weeks later and a lot of coincidences happened and we got to the stage where we would burn the paper that gave the other papercuts. 

He changed my life. Turned it around a whole 360 degrees and now, I'm still questioning if anything's straight in my life anymore.

When I proposed to him the day I got back, I was scared. Of course I was. I had no idea what to expect. Maybe he was seeing someone else. Maybe he was already starting a family with a girl I've never met before. Maybe he forgot about me completely and just...move on.

When I heard him on the phone with Levi, I felt like jumping in right there and then to hug him. Tell him it's okay and how I'm alright and breathing just so he wouldn't cry. When he kissed me for the first time in ten years, I felt so happy I would've actually died. When he said 'yes', oh god, when he said 'yes', I just. I don't even know what to feel anymore. 

"I love him," an impulse dawned on me. 

"I know you do," Levi nodded, his smile still there even though he tried to remove it. "Knew since we were fourteen, you fool." 

"I love him so so much."

"I swear, you're 24 and you still cry at the littlest of things," he teased, elbowing me playfully even though no actual tears came out. 

"I'm not crying, bastard." 

A few moments later, I saw the door creaking open and I literally was digging my feet into the ground just so I could stay calm. Yes, I was nervous. Of course I was nervous. The love of my life is about to pin my last name to his and we'd bound ourselves together for the rest of forever. 

Then, I saw him. 

A man with hair of blue, eyes of diamonds and a face of an angel. He wore a similar white tuxedo as mine and there were little red roses in his chest pocket instead of a bouquet of them in his hands. His left arm was slung around Gakushuu's arm and the both of them steadily walked down the aisle towards us.

Levi took a step backward and I was left all alone, waiting for him. The music played wasn't synchronized with my heartbeat at all, I felt like my hair was out of place, I could've sworn I was wearing my left shoe on my right foot and my right foot on my left hand and--

Karma. Breathe. 

Well, if anyone could blame me, I'd like to see them fucking try. He looked perfect; so much to the point I felt like I don't deserve him and every flaw on my bones was showing itself as clearly as my nervousness.

"Hi," I managed to choke out, instantly regretting it. 

"Hey," he gave a soft smile, chuckling a bit when he saw how nervous I was. 

I wanted to tell him how amazing he looked. I wanted to tell him how happy I was to be standing here, just moments away from being the happiest man in the world. Fuck, I want to tell him I'm the happiest man in the entire goddamn world. 

We exchanged vows and the moment he slipped a ring on my finger, I felt secure. When I did the same to him, I felt even more secure. Because if one thing's for sure, this man, right here, in front of me, was lawfully my wedded husband now. And fuck everyone who doesn't ship us. 

Then, the ceremony took place. 

Everyone dispersing and began to enjoy the food prepared outside, sharing chit-chat and all the shit you do after the main event. 

"Congrats on your marriage, shithead," Levi elbowed me playfully. 

"Thanks for coming, asshole," I returned his play on words. "Really, though. Thanks so much for doing this for me."

"Anytime." 

He smiled before going up to Eren, slinging an arm around his waist as I stared at the golden ring on his finger. Eren chuckled, his own hand ruffling Levi's hair, the same type of golden ring hugged his finger.

Yeah fuckers, those two are married. 

"Karma!" 

I spun around, my smile getting wider. Seriously, my cheeks hurt. 

"Nagisa," I greeted, somehow. "Wow, um, I have no idea what to say. It's like, uh, wow, it's like a dream honestly."

He threaded his fingers between the gaps of mine. Slowly, he caressed his palm on my chest and he desperately tried to hide the fact that he was tip-toeing as he leaned in and kissed me. It wasn't a desperate kiss, both of us knew there's a lot more time for those behind doors.

It made me feel at ease. 

"You seriously got better at kissing," I said after he pulled away. 

"Maybe you just got better at receiving," he shrugged, a playful grin stuck on his face. 

"Maybe I did." 

We both smiled at each other, hands locked together and our eyes right where we wanted them to be. Shared 'I love you's and stolen kisses became our greeting throughout the day.

And I enjoyed every single second of it. 

***

"And that, kids, was the story of how I met your father; the person who is right now in the kitchen and sucking at meatloaf."

"I didn't marry you just so you could insult my meatloaf, Karma."

"Of course you didn't, little doll." 

~Behind the Smile end~