All The Little Lights // c.b

28

I dressed in simple black jeans and a loose grey shirt, and slipping on my white vans. Colby dropped me off at the cafe I was going to meet them at just in time to see them getting a seat. I walked in and sat with them, and Ella's mom faced me.

"So, to start this off, I want to ask you a question," she asks, and I swallow before nodding.

"Go for it," I say.

"Would you speak at her funeral? We know how much time you guys spent together and I am sure there are some memories that you may want to share? It doesn't have to be long, but we think Ella would appreciate it," her mom says, grabbing her husbands hand for comfort.

"Yeah, I can," I say, forcing a small smile on my face.

"Thank you, darling," she says and I nod. We spend the next hour planning before I call Colby to pick me up. I say in a bench until he picked me up, then I dragged myself into the car and curled up on the seat.

"They want me to speak," I say, looking at him.

"You okay with it?" He asks, and I shrug.

"I don't know," I say, and squeeze my eyes shut. Do not cry, Josie, don't you dare.

"I don't want to invite myself, but would it make you feel better if I were there?" He asks, and I nod quietly.

"They said I could bring one other person," I say, and he nods.

"Good. I am joining you now, you can do it Josie," he says and I nod and smile. I could do this.

***

I borrowed one of Devyn's simple black dresses and shoes for the funeral. Colby dressed in black pants and a black collared shirt. He drove us to where it would be held, and I looked at the casket sitting in the hole. I felt the tears begin to come already, and I sucked in a breath. I could barely hear anything until my name was announced, pulling me out of my thoughts. I took a breath and stepped forward a bit, keeping my eyes on Colby.

"Hi, I'm Josie Sutton, Ella's best friend. I remember the day we got our apartment, we were 18, fresh out of high school, and I had just moved here from Australia. We met at a Starbucks and bonded almost instantly. She dyed my hair in the tub for the first time, and ever since I have been keeping the red. I remember when I first showed up in one of her videos, how we had messed around in Target and actually met Liza Koshy in the process, who was such a big influence in Ella's life," I pause and wipe my cheeks with my sleeve before continuing,

"I remember when she and I went to Australia for two weeks. We visited her cousins and I got to see my dad as well. She loved the Sydney opera house the most. There we met Sam, Colby, Elton, and Corey, who we did videos with often. With them, she was able to truly express the explorer in her, no matter how scared she was," I paused, knowing tears were flowing down my face fast.

"I was so blessed to be able to know her and to have her as my roommate, thank you," I say rushed, and walk back to Colby and grabbed his hand.

"You were great, jo," he whispers, and I just nod, leaning my head into my shoulder. I felt the weight of her passing hard now, and knew there was nothing I could do to get her back. I wouldn't ever see her again, I wouldn't hear her laugh again, I wouldn't see her bright smile again. She was gone, and there was no going back.

A/N : Short Chapter cause I am low key crying rn :,)