All The Little Lights // c.b

36

Staying on the Queen Mary sent constant chills up my spine now whenever I heard a knock anywhere. It has been a week since and I had mostly gotten over it, but I knew it had affected all of us. The things we experienced that night will haunt us forever and I knew it was something we would never forget.

Tonight Brennen invited Colby to another party, so it was just going to be me, Kat, and Devyn in the house. Sam, Jake, and Corey were going somewhere else for the night, and I figured I could use a girls night anyway.

"Okay babe, I'm leaving, I'll see you tonight?" colby says, giving me a meaningful hug and a kiss.

"Yes, you go have fun," I say smiling, and he nods. He gives me one last hug before he and Brennen leave, and then I run upstairs to Devyn's room where they were waiting, with Kat's laptop ready to play Netflix.

"Girls night!" Kat says excitedly, and I burst into laughter. I jump on the bed next to Kat and Devyn starts scrolling through Netflix.

"Okay, let's watch Friends," Dev says, and I nod, snuggling into her pillows. We all cuddled together, and Dev had bought two boxes of Oreos which we were splitting while we watched. After we had watched at least seven episodes, I checked my phone to see if Colby had texted. He had texted me an hour ago, and I smiled when I read it.

Colby - Just got here babe, love you!

Me - love you too :))

I then switch to Snapchat, and saw that Brennen and Colby both posted. I looked at Colby's first. The lighting was horrible, but there were purple lights that flashed every once in a while, and I saw he was filming himself dancing with some random girl. The smile was wide on his face, and he looked like he was having fun. It didn't look like he had his arm around the girl or anything, which made me feel better. I then watched Brennen's, and what I saw broke my ears completely. It was a video of Colby sneaking upstairs with a girl, his arm was around her waist and I saw they both had red solo cups in their hands. The video ended and I didn't even realize I had started crying until Kat was shaking my shoulder.

"Jo? What's wrong?" She asks, and I simply open Brennen's snap and moved away.

"Maybe that's not Colby?" She asks, and shows Dev, who presses her lips into a thin line.

"Definitely Colby," she says, and I cover my mouth with my hand.

"He wouldn't," I say, looking at the girls teary-eyed.

"I'm texting Sam," Kat says, and I grab a pillow and press it over my face. I hear Dev close the laptop and shuffling as she and Kat switched places, and felt Dev gently lift the pillow from my face.

"Stay in my room for the night. Corey can take the couch or something, and we won't let Colby or Brennen in here," Dev says, and I just nod.

"Okay, I told Sam but since he is out he probably won't respond. Let's get stuff for tonight from Colbys room then you can settle in here," Kat says and I nod. It was eleven p.m, so we assumed we had an hour or so before they got home. I grabbed one of Colby's hoodies and a couple pairs of leggings as well as a few tees, and took them to Dev's room. I put my phone out of sight and tried to stop crying. At around 12:30 we heard the door open, and I felt my entire body tense up until I heard Sam's voice.

"She's upstairs," I hear Kat say, and then I hear Sam come running up into Dev's room.

"Hey," he says, and closes the door behind him. I sit up and cross my legs under the blankets.

"Hi," I say, and gently wipe away tears from under my eyes.

"I saw the snap, another came after it but I don't know if you want to see it," Sam says, and I nod.

"Let me," I say, and he pulls it up and hands me his phone. It was him and the same girl, dancing in the living room, with Brennen drunkenly whooping at them. Colby smiles at the camera, and for a second I thought that maybe nothing happened until he kissed the girl. Not on the forehead, not on the cheek. On her lips. I covered my mouth again, and felt a sob coming up in my throat. I handed Sam's phone back.

"I'll talk to him when he gets back," Sam says, but I shake my head.

"No, he will be drunk. Talk to him in the morning," I say, and he nods as the door opens and yells fill the house. I felt tension rise in my body again, and Sam quickly leaves the room.

"I won't let him in," Sam says and I nod, and Dev taps my shoulder.

"We will deal with it all in the morning," she whispers and I nod, laying my head down and falling asleep, with tears rolling down my face.

***

The next morning I woke as Dev was pulling on a sweater to wear for the day.

"They are talking right now," she tells me and I nod, getting up and grabbing Colby's hoodie and a pair of ripped jeans I had also grabbed. I changed and tied my hair in a braid down my back, and snuggled into his hoodie. Am I not enough for him? Why did he do that? I kept thinking, and then I heard a yell come from downstairs.

"Damnit!" Colby's voice resounded throughout the house, and I froze.

"Dude, you screwed up. Jo is a mess, why did you let it get that far?" I hear Sam ask, and then a bang.

"I don't know! People kept handing me drinks," I hear Colby yell, and i cover my ears.

"Dude, Jo can probably hear you," I hear Sam say, "cool down, you don't want to scare her."

I hear him take a breath as I open the door, which thankfully doesn't creak. I step out and sit by the door so I could hear better.

"Shit," he mumbles, and I could hear him pacing, "I never should have gone."

"You never should have let it get to that point. You should have limited yourself," Sam says, and I heard another heavy sigh from Colby. Their conversation then quieted so I couldn't hear them well, so I figured now would be a good time for me to walk down and pretend that I didn't know they were there. I padded carefully down the stairwell, and all whispers went quiet. I had no idea where they were, so I went into the empty kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Dude, don't go in there," I hear Sam say as I grab a water bottle. When I close the fridge, I turn and am face to face with Colby. I drop my water and back away fast. He picks up the bottle I dropped, and looks at me with sad and sorry eyes. I felt my own water, and I covered my mouth to hold back the sob that was threatening to escape from my throat.

"Josie," he starts, holding out the bottle.

"No," is all I could get out, and I skirted around the island and back upstairs.