the roommate contract - todomomo

thirty-seven \\ "full disclosure" pt. 1

Dressed in a loose pink t-shirt and a pair of faded jean shorts, Momo felt like a fake. It wasn't even that dressy of an outfit. But it felt so fake as she neatly brushed out her silky raven hair and applied the smallest amount of strawberry lip gloss. It felt fake because she knew it was basically pointless. Why even try with her appearance? She was just meeting someone to break up with them anyway. It wasn't even a real date and it wasn't even like she wanted to put in the effort for him...and yet she was.

On some level, she felt a little guilty. I mean, how else was one supposed to feel? It felt like she knew more than he did, like she knew some secret that would damn them both and she was keeping it until the perfect moment when it would explode and take both of them with it. But what else was she supposed to do? It wasn't like she could just keep waiting for him to get his shit together. Plus, she was kind of at a point in her life where she was lacking options.

Maybe she owed him that much... She hadn't really given him much of a chance to prove himself. They'd only been dating for a little over a month, after all. But the longer she thought about it, the harder it got to deny that she wasn't happy. Because she wasn't. Relationships were supposed to make you happy, but all Momo felt was the aching desire to get out, like a heaviness, an itch to change the way her life was. And she just couldn't ignore it anymore.

So, did she feel like an absolute scumbag for this? A little bit, yes. But she was powerless to stop herself. Well...not necessarily. She could stop any time she wanted, but she didn't want to keep being the obligation in the back of her boyfriend's head that he had to get to eventually but kept pushing back.

I don't know if you've ever felt like someone's back up plan, the person they go to when they're bored or don't have anything better to do. Chances are you have because a lot of people are assholes who don't realize they have something good in front of them. But even if you haven't, you can sympathize with the loneliness that comes with it. The realization that you've given so much thought to a person only to find out that you're not what you thought you were to them.

That's how Momo felt.

Which is why she had no intention of trying to further a relationship with a person who clearly wasn't interested in a genuine one as she stepped out of her room and pulled on her tennis shoes, slinging her purse over her shoulder as she hesitated momentarily in front of the door.

Why she hesitated, she didn't quite know. It wasn't like she was having second thoughts or anything, she knew she wanted this constant back and forth, this sinking feeling of always coming up second, to end. But she still hesitated. Because what if he was hurt by her actions? What if he did genuinely care and she hadn't given him a chance? What if he'd changed? Was she making the right choice?

Her hands dropped to her sides as she tapped her foot on the ground. Should she dash her original plan? Was it worth it to give this relationship another chance? What if she could talk to him about it?

"You're doubting yourself again, aren't you," Momo startled slightly at her dual-haired roommate's voice, snapping her from her thoughts. Momo's eyes traveled to him. He wasn't even looking at her, his heterochromatic eyes stuck to the pages of his book. She opened her mouth with a frown, ready to protest, but he caught her before she could. "Don't even try to deny it. I know you," She could see the smirk materialize on his lips as he echoed her words from the night before.

"You have a lot of nerve butting in on my love life," She grumped in fake annoyance. Honestly, Shouto Todoroki could say whatever he wanted to her about Yosetsu and she wouldn't be able to argue because he would probably be right. But illusions were everything, right? Lies were a hard thing to maintain, but they were the only thing keeping their relationship from completely breaking down.