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"Mama, can we go see daddy?" Jimmy's little hand tugged on the bottom of my shirt.
"No honey, I'm sorry we can't go see daddy" I said to him sadly.
He looked deflated. I hated having to tell him he couldn't see his daddy, I felt like a terrible mother but what else could I do? This was the deal we made.
Matthew and I had been friends for as far back as I could even remember, he was always part of my life. We were always with each other and it was highly noted by the people we spent time with.
We both knew the other had feelings involved, no matter how much we tried to push that away. We were great about not acting on those feelings until we were eighteen. One night changed everything. One night where we got a little carried away, a kiss was initiated and neither one of us had the strength to control ourselves.
Whether it was a mistake or not, we had one amazing night together that we would never be able to take back. That one night gave me the best thing I could have asked for, Jimmy.
When we found out I was pregnant, we made a deal that we would keep that information from the public. We took into account Matt being drafted and what having a child at our age could do to his reputation. The last thing I wanted was to hold him back from what he was capable of just because of one impulsive night. I was all for keeping us out of the spotlight, but it was getting harder and harder to be happy about this arrangement recently.
Now, Jimmy is four and starting to realize his daddy doesn't spend the time with him that he wishes he did. How could he? No one knows Jimmy is his son except for the two of us and our immediate families. Jimmy always wanted to be around Matt and it literally broke my heart every time I told him he couldn't be.
"Can we see daddy later?" Jimmy pleaded still tugging on my shirt.
"I'll call daddy and see ok? Here's your breakfast" I smiled patting the tiny boys head.
"Yay! Thank you mama"
He looked so innocent, so excited. I held out every bit of hope I had as the phone rang that Matt would be able to see him today.
"Hey Y/N" Matt picked up after a few rings.
"Hey, Umm, are you free tonight? Jimmy's asking to see you" I asked hopefully.
"Yeah, I can stop by around dinner if that's ok?"
I took a noticeable sigh of relief and it didn't go unnoticed.
"Did you think I would say no?" He lightly chuckled through the phone.
"Well I wasn't sure to be honest but my heart breaks a little more every time he asks to see you" I stated honestly.
"Y/N..." Matt started before I cut him off.
"No I know, I'll see you for dinner" I said quickly as I hung up.
