airplanes(Thiam)

chapter 29: As gouda's it gets

The car was quiet. Uncomfortably so. Theo's fingers stayed gripped around the steering wheel, unmoving. They didn't tap, or jitter, just sat, the muscles beneath the skin shifted only when Theo would turn the wheel to accommodate a slight curve in the road. His heartbeat was soft, even, a slow and gentle beat that would have made him seem calm were it not for the carefully blank face that left Liam's stomach writhing because it was too blank. Too calm. It was the kind of expression Liam had grown used to from the Theo who first arrived in Beacon hills, a practiced look that at first glance seemed casual but once you knew him, it gave the distinct impression that something else, something big, was rattling around inside his brain.

It felt like before a storm, when the birds would stop their squawking and hide somewhere unseen, when dark clouds would roll across the skies like waves and the air would taste like blood. Where the world would hold an unearthly silence that had everyone biting their tongues and waiting for the first crash of thunder to roar through the skies.

It had been an hour. Theo's hair still held the telltale dampness of the rain even though they'd long since left it behind, outrunning the clouds as Theo tore off towards Florida. His hands were flecked with crispy flakes of dried dirt, his freshly washed clothes smeared with streaks from where he'd yanked them on ignoring the fact he was still dripping wet and muddier than Liam had been after he fell in a hole. The road whipped by outside, tree's passing at a speed that would make Liam dizzy if he looked too long.

Liam couldn't bring himself to complain about it. Hoping that maybe, if they went far enough, fast enough, the uncomfortable tension that smothered the car ever since Theo had hopped out to push them from the field, would be left behind them.

He thought about breaking the stillness that suffocated the car. About propping his legs up on Theo's lap and talking about his favourite Disney movies until he fell asleep.

He thought about taking it all back, about how different the moment could be if instead of slapping Theo's hand away from his neck he'd used it to tug him closer.

But Theo didn't look at him, his eyes stayed firmly glued to the road, mouth stuck in an impassive straight line. And Liam had grown used to the looks, how Theo's eyes would drift over every few miles as if to check Liam was still there, he'd grown used to Theo wanting him to still be there. As it was he was fairly sure Theo wanted him anywhere other than right next to him.

He wanted to apologise. But how was he meant to do that when he'd only managed to prove that Theo would be happier in Idaho than he would be with him because despite Theo's blank expression and calm exterior it was painfully obvious he wasn't happy.

The hush kept going, the storm brewing below the surface but the thunder never cracked, the rain never came and the two boys stayed silent.

Liam fell asleep to the hum of an engine and the burn of regret in his gut.

*

He had hoped that by the time they got to Florida the silence would have broken, it had, in a way. But Theo playing the radio just too loud for them to reasonably talk over it wasn't exactly the end of it that Liam had wanted. He'd thought he'd be happy to reach Florida. it meant they were one step closer to Disney World. hell, in a handful of hours they'd be there.

But all Liam could think about was that as it stood he was pretty sure Disney World was the last stop before they were going home. Before Theo would be leaving and how it seemed that to Theo that couldn't happen fast enough. The fact they hadn't gotten pulled over for speeding was a miracle.

"I'll go pick us up some food." Liam jumped when Theo finally spoke, twisting the radio until it was running at a little more than a whisper. "You go book us a room."