Secrets That Lay Behind Closed Doors

(17) Wrong

Tsukishima's POV

Who am I kidding, 'something?' this is more than a something. This is...it's...a big something?

Damn, it looks as though my brain isn't functioning. Is this how he feels on a daily basis? Wait- No, this isn't what I'm supposed to be thinking. Bad Kei.

I'm going insane. Thanks a lot-

"Uh- What's that in y-your hand...?" Kageyama.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" I shut the book quickly while jumping up from the couch, dropping the notebook in the process.

It hit me like a truck- What was I doing? Why was I looking through his DIARY of all things?! By the look on his face, he was asking the same question.

Kageyama managed to choke out a word, "Out."

"Wait- I didn't mean to-"

"Now." His voice was trembling, "I want you out, right now."

I don't remember him dropping the glasses of water, and I sure as hell don't remember how I ended up on the street sidewalk, looking at his shut door.

I may have made a mistake.

Kageyama's POV

What the heck was wrong with him?

No- That isn't what I should be asking myself, what did he see?

I don't usually write, and I think about my feelings even less, so why would I chose now of all days to start? I wish I felt this type of motivation for writing class.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, I shouldn't be asking questions now. I need to clean up the glass before father gets ho-

He's not here anymore. He's in jail. You're okay.

Clutching my elbow, I sunk down to my knees, 'He's not here anymore, I don't need to worry. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe.'

This is okay. I'm okay. This is okay.

I used my other hand to touch my cheek, "Oh, look at that...I'm crying." Me, king of the court, crying over something so little as this. How pathetic. He isn't here anymore, so why do I feel like he's right outside the door, waiting for me to mess up so he'd have a chance to-

No!

Please.

I don't want to be scared anymore.

I shouldn't be scared anymore.

So why am I?

What's wrong with me? Why won't the tears stop?

I clutched my elbow tighter while curling up. I'm never going to be okay. He did this to me. He did this to me and now he's gone.
Leaving me alone.

All... Alone...

3rd Person POV (With Tsukishima)

With his hands in his pockets, Kei walked home much sooner than he would have liked. It was his fault either way, he chose to read the book as well as chose to leave voluntarily. However one would spin it, he would be the antagonist.

'What a joke.'

What started off as a thing to make Kageyama feel better -But let's not lie, it was only for him- ended with the blond feeling terrible.

Funny.

Very funny.

He wasn't laughing.

He unlocked the door to his house and walked inside. Kei then put his bag by the door while shrugging off his jacket.