Hearts and Other Breakable Things

chapter forty-six ✔️

januarie robinson
- november 20, 2020 -

"DAMN IT, LUCAS, YOU HAVE got to be kidding me." I stopped outside the office door when I heard Nick slammed his hand against the desk. That wasn't a conversation I wanted to interrupt. His voice sounded like pure venom.

            "I can't actually believe this. Why would you—"

            "Wait? Have the two of you even talked about this?" There was another long pause. I took a tentative step back. This wasn't a conversation I should be overhearing. It sounded personal. Extremely personal.

            "That's not your decision to make alone. Don't you think she deserves a choice in the matter? No, you don't get to do that." There was a long pause, he was obviously on the phone, "Don't even think about comparing the two situations. My wife died. You're choosing to do this. I didn't choose for her to die."

            "That's bullshit and you know damn well it is."

            "Are you fucking kidding—" He growled, "You know what? No. You can call me when you've decided to pull your head out of your ass and figure your shit out." He stopped, "Actually, no. You can call here because she's going to be confused and hurt and she deserves an explanation as to why you did this."

            I took a deep breath and rounded the corner of the office. I stopped dead in my tracks. I probably looked like a deer in the headlights... As if a train was about to run me off the tracks. The sight of Nick was unlike anything I'd ever seen.

            Him and Lucas were different in many ways, but they were both always so put together and this... This was anything but put together. His hair stuck up in every direction as if he'd just been continuously running his fingers through it like I'd caught him doing just now.

            His tie hung loose around his neck, the first couple of buttons undone from his shirt that he hadn't even bothered to tuck into his slacks. He almost looked as if he'd been out on a bender all night and had come straight to work after.

            "Nick, what's going on?" I asked, watching him carefully.

            He threw a magic 8-ball that Lucas had into a box on the desk, "Lucas left."

            I blinked. I had to have heard that wrong. He couldn't have left. He wouldn't just leave without saying a single word. There had to be some kind of mistake... Right?

            "What—What do you mean, he left?"

            Nick's face twisted in an anger that I'd never seen before, "And then he didn't even fucking tell you."

            "Tell me what?"

            "Those guys from the other cinema. That god damn, Lilac Cinemas. They offered him a job. And he took it. Accepted the offer yesterday and told Richard this morning. He didn't even put in his notice."

            He threw a couple pens in the box and I jumped. He breathed out an apology, gripped the edge of the desk, "He should have told you. I thought he would have told you."

            It's funny. For a person who always had something to say, not a single world came to my mind. I just stood there, blinking.

            His jaw clenched, "I'm so sorry."

            "Did he, um—Did he tell you anything about..." I gestured between Lucas' old desk and myself, "You know."

            "No. Oh god, no." He spoke quickly and then cleared his throat, "He didn't. I just noticed a lot. He doesn't share much. Even with me."

            "Oh, okay." My voice came out so flat that I wanted to wince. It wasn't Nick's fault, but I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. Why wouldn't he tell me something as big as that. Or at least tried hinting at it. When I thought about it, I hadn't heard from or seen Lucas since he showed up on my doorstep four days ago.

            I'd been away with family and hadn't had time to speak with or see anyone since I'd got back. Pulling out my phone, I sent a text off to him and asked about it. I waited a minute or two, but when nothing came back, I shoved the device back in my pocket. I wasn't going to think about it at the moment. As of right now my mission was to work and get Nick presentable enough to work.

            It's nice how physically working made time slip past you so quickly. When I clocked off for the night, I pulled my phone out, hoping I would have some kind of reply from Lucas. Even if it was just to say he was fine.

            I looked down to find the screen still blank. My head was whirling so quickly through all the possibilities it almost made me physically sick.

            I called, but within the second ring it went straight to voicemail. With shaking hands, I shoved the phone into my pocket and pulled my jacket over my shoulders. I needed a drink and I needed to calm down before my mind could come up with a whole series of bad ideas. And The Corner Bar was just down the road.

            I was surprised about how empty the parking lot was when I pulled in. Only a handful of cars and a motorcycle. I parked the Jeep closest to the door that I could get. In one fluid motion the was off and I was stepping out. I looked around. When I didn't see either Taylor or James' vehicles, I breathed a sigh of relief.

            Pulling open the door, I made a beeline for the bar. With my purse slung over my shoulder, I untied the fabric around my neck. Two other girls and I all reached the bar at the same time and slammed down an item on the counter. A book, a set of keys, and my grey tie.

            "Can I get a shot of Pendleton?" We all called out to the bartender at the same time. We glanced at each other and laughed to ourselves. The woman behind the bar with her bright purple hair, poured three shots of whiskey and set them down in front of us. Without a word, we each grabbed one and put them back.

            The brunette on the end in a tweed jacket looked over, "Don't we look like one hell of a party." She turned to the bartender and raised her glass for another round. The woman brought over more and we repeated our actions.

            Between us the blonde turned towards me, "I know you, don't I? You're the movie girl... You kind of look like you got the brunt of it. What's your story anyways?" She pulled back the stool and sat down as did the rest of us, "I'm Katie by the way."

            The brunette leaned forward and gave a tiny wave, "Stevie."

            I gestured for another around, "Januarie." I raised my hand as the brunette went to speak, "Yes, as in the month."

            Then without being prompted, I started to laugh because really... What exactly was my story? But most importantly where would I even start? Could I even say for sure that it was over? Had I reached the ending?

            I thought back on all the things I'd been through in the last couple of years and a smile pulled at my lips.

            Was it too soon to say that I'd known all along that this would end in tragedy? Because, just like all great movies have great beginnings, their ends are usually just as sad. All the good ones at least. The Green Mile, My Girl, Philadelphia, Pay It Forward.

            But, one thing I had learned was that this was real life and real life wasn't like the movies. Not everything gets tied up in a neat little bow. Sometimes instead, you're left with nothing but a whole lot of unanswered questions.

            I put back the third shot and sighed. Still, I turned to look at these two complete strangers, "Well, actually it started when I got this job—"

THE END.