Hearts and Other Breakable Things

chapter thirty-eight ✔️

katie porter
- february 23, 2020 -

            I SAT AT THE COUNTER with a coffee in one hand as I punched numbers into a calculator with the other. I hadn't heard anything about numbers from Elisha in the last week, but we were so close. Barely over a thousand dollars left. We could easily make that.

A pounding came from my front door and I glanced from my coffee to my phone multiple times. When it didn't stop, I pulled the door open. Who could possibly need me that badly right now?

"Finally," Caleb stormed in without a second thought, "I can't believe you."

"Sure," I closed the door behind him, "come on in."

"You can't actually be serious? That Shakespeare guy? That's who you're seeing? So what? You went with the first guy you could find the first time I disappointed you?"

Taken back, I laughed, "Disappointment. You want to talk about disappointment. Yes. I'm disappointed in you, but most of all I'm disappointed in myself."

He rolled his eyes, "Right, because it's all about you."

I threw my hands in the air, "Yes, for once, it's about me. And what I want and what I need. You have a girlfriend. How do you not feel ashamed about kissing me or taking me on dates while you're still with her? How are you so okay with having her, but still telling me I have to be alone?"

His jaw clenched, "Because this has been so easy for me, right? I've been in love with you for years and—"

"And you still chose her!"

How could he not see how messed up this entire situation was?

Shaking his head, he tried to step towards me, but I backed away, "No, I didn't. I haven't chosen anyone."

"You staying is choosing her. You've chosen her over and over again and I am not going to be someone's second choice. I won't be someone you can fall back on because you're lonely or bored in your relationship. I am worth more than that and it's a real shame that you couldn't see it."

"Katie, I've always known that."

"Then you should have acted like it," I snapped, "You had the opportunity to treat me the way I deserved. I loved you. I loved you and I wasn't afraid to show it. I wasn't afraid to show the world. And I deserve someone like that. I deserve someone who gives me the stars!"

My phone started ringing with Walking On Sunshine, but I ignored the caller.

"But it doesn't matter. You don't get a say, Caleb."

"Katie, you're seeing some older guy. You really think that's going to end well? You're not even in the same spot in life."

I laughed, gesturing between us, "Like we are!"