Anxiety 》h.s.

seven

oh my god, it has been a long time since I posted a chapter. Sorry guys :(

.

.

Fear is something that you always want to avoid, a feeling that you try to run away from. But, the thing is, the further you run away from it, the more the feeling of fear will be created in you. You just can't escape it. Fear is everywhere, haunting you until the day you overcome it.

Overcoming fear is a task even a psychologist can't help you. It's a complicated thing, and only the person with the fear will figure it out.

The moment I sat on the chair, I knew I have lost my inner battle with the fear inside me. I can't think properly and everything to me is a jumbled mess. My breathing is getting dragged as the time fixed by. My palms are sweating, and the temperature felt like it had drop to 10 degrees Celsius.

Louis's back is facing me as he reads the folder on the small table. If I am thinking straight, I would probably be out of the room 3 minutes ago.

In a silent and cold room, everything seems to trigger me. Whether it's  the sound of the clock on the wall or the way Louis clears his throat in every few seconds, I always get startled at the sounds.

My heart felt like it's going to burst in any moment and I just felt like I'm suffocating in my own breath. Everything seems so hazy to me, even my brain can't function properly on how to breathe properly like every human does.

Louis' body makes an 180-degree turn, facing me with a look of distress on his face. With pity or concern eyes, he eyes me as if I'm some kind of specimen that he wants to experiment with.

"So, Isabel." He starts. My struggle to breathe is getting worse now and I am wheezing as if I have a lung disease. Louis immediately rushes towards me and panic is stricken on his face.

"Isabel!" He shakes my shoulder lightly in attempt to snap me out of my daze. "Darling, breathe with me." He says softly with a hint of force in he words.

He takes both of my hands and clasped them around his. He continues to breathe deeply through his nose and exhale the air through his mouth. I followed his action and minutes later, I can feel the oxygen flows to my lungs.

Louis looks at me with soft eyes while continuing to do the 'breathing treatment' with me.

"You okay now?" He asked.

I shook my head in denial although I know that my breathing is getting better as the minutes past. But, I'm not ready to face the exam.

Reality is harsh. It slaps you and you have nowhere to run but to face it. It will happen. There is no avoiding it. No running away, or burying, or hiding. It stays with you no matter what.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Isabel. I promise I will tell you everything that I'm going to do. You are safe with me." Louis reassured.

That's what they always say.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

They are all lies.

I can't trust anyone.

With little energy I have, I look up at Louis with pleading eyes, "Please, Dr. Tomlinson. Please, don't make me do it. Please!" I beg.

"Shh... It's going to be okay. I just want to take care of you, love. This is for your own good." He said while rubbing my back in a soothing way.

"Please..." I beg again.

Louis sighs probably frustrated with my antics. He takes his arms off me and rolled his stool closer towards me.