Anxiety 》h.s.

two

Could this day go even worse?!

First of all, I am just having a shitty morning and then some random dude just knock my books down. And on top of all that mess, there is a freaking dentist giving a talk in our assembly.

This is probably the worst day of my life not to mention that I forgot my own birthday. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down before I explode in this room. The connection between me with any dentist in this world is not good.

I notice that my breathing is getting raged and I am now panting harshly. Luke look at me worriedly while holding my jaw, "Iz, you okay?" He asks gently. I shook my head no and grip the chair tightly.

My breath is getting shallower and I know I have to get out if this place quickly. I spotted the fire exit and make a dash towards it. I ran along the hallway trying to find the washroom. My mind is a jumble mess and my vision is clouded with tears as I sprint across the hall.

I know what I'm dealing right now - the tight chest, wheezing, jumble thoughts running through my mind, I'm definitely having a panic attack. I tried to catch my breath but all I am doing is gasping for air as I'm in a vacuum room with no air inside it. It is rare for me to deal with this kind of situation - of course I had them before but someone was always there to calm me down. I don't want to worry Luke and make a scene in the middle of assembly so I decided to be tough girl and deal it myself.

I saw the sigh of washroom and speed up my running. My body collide with something and i immediately groan in frustration. Why everything is colliding with me today.

Maybe because you are just clumsy, my subconscious says.

I push the figure away from me and run into the washroom. As soon as I closed one of the washroom's stall door, I immediately hover over the porcelain bowl and throw my guts out. My forehead touches the cold lid and i immediately shiver due to difference in temperature.

My puking finally stops and I lean against the door trying to catch my breath. I flush the toilet and grip the lid until my knuckles turned white.

For Gods sake Isabel. Can you please not fuck up your day for once in your life. All you do is create a mess and run away from it. You are a loser. No wonder why everyone leaves you.

I bet that Luke guy only friends with you because he pity you. You are nothing... nothing.... nothing...

"Excuse me," I jolted awake from my dream and realize that I am still on the cold tiled floor. Someone is knocking the door lightly and I managed to croak a yes to the person.

The knocking stops. "Are you alright in there? I saw you running just now and heard someone throwing up. You need help, love?" The voice is husky and deep.

I closed the toilet lid and sit on it, "I'm fine. Just a bit flu," I lied.

"You sure?" He presses. I mumbled a yeah and moments later, footsteps can be heard and I think the man walks out the washroom. The door closed with a quiet slam and I sigh in relief.

.........

Luke looks at me worriedly when I walk out of the washroom. Apparently, the assembly finishes awhile ago and everyone is collecting books from their locker for their next class. I pushed passed Luke and ignore his worried glance and make my way to English class.

Luke walks next to me while chat about the dentist guy in the hall earlier. I half listened to him because just hearing the word dentist makes me want to throw up all over again. Luke kept asking me if I'm even listening which i only nod. "-so we will be getting check up by the dentist because our principal is such a hygiene freak. He needs to make sure that every student-"