Anxiety 》h.s.

eight

Slightly long chapter because it has been awhile since I posted a chapter.

I'm sorry for the excessive use of conversation in this chapter

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Memories are the things our mind play whenever it want and whatever the circumstances are. It's a sick game that tricks you into a world where sometimes you just hope things would be better. It's like a broken tape, replaying every event in your head that keeps you wondering if you can change your past.

You make predictions, assumptions and hypothesis on what will happen if you can change the moment. The what ifs will continue to fill your mind until you are sick of it, but they continue to replay over and over again.

Memories and flashbacks are two almost similar things. They both make you come back to your past and almost relive the life you faced before. Memories are mostly good things that happen to you - whether it's the time you spend your time with your family or the first time you rode the bike.

Flashback is the opposite. It haunts you in your dreams, pulling you back to the darkest memories of yours. It's a monster, cruel and heartless and it just want to ruin your life.

All my life I've been surrounded with flashbacks on my past life where things I wish would be happier. They haunt in day and night making me wonder if this is some kind of punishment God is giving me.

I never knew why I've been tested all my life - if I have done something so wrong, so sinful that I felt like every day is like a living in hell. Every single say, I felt like the world is crashing down right in front of my eyes and I just want to bury myself 6 feet under the ground.

When I stared into the deep ocean blue of Louis' eyes, the memories, -flashbacks- of my childhood years come back to me, pulling me into their open arms. His face is filled with confusion as his mouth hangs open, I afraid he'll choked on flies flying into his mouth. (Not that I care)

Behind him, I saw Harry who is in a deep conversation through the phone, his voice slightly lower as if he was in a very serious and private conversation.

The moment Harry's emerald green eyes stares into my blue ones, he gasps and stares at me as if I'm an alien.

"Isabel? Is that you?"

I stare at him dumbfounded. I noticed that both men have changed into more casual clothes and, to be honest, they don't look like doctors at all. My hand gripped the railing tightly as I stare at the men in front of me.

Miss Warren's heels tapped against the tile while putting her hand on her hips,

"Well, what are you waiting for Miss Smith?" She asked.

I ignore her words and feel my heart keeps beating louder and louder.

I don't care if anyone want to interview me or what so ever but not these men.