Yoongi's Rules • MYG

Seventeen

"I haven't slept with Eun-ji, or any of the staff, you believe me right Y/N?" Yoongi looked at you so full of hope that you kissed his cheek before answering.

"I believe she lied to me about that but she said some other things in the car that were upsetting to hear, beyond implying," you grimaced, "a sexual relationship with you. Eun-ji said that she dropped girls off at the guy's apartments frequently, especially yours." You licked your bottom lip slowly, whether or not it was true, Yoongi wasn't an angel, he wasn't celibate.

"We aren't predators, kitten, we don't need to collect women. If one of the guys wants to get with a girl he doesn't need a PA to broker the deal." You were dancing around what you really wanted to say, your courage waning in the face of not wanting to let him go. Once everything was out there wouldn't be any take backs, no chance to deny the reality.

"Yoongi, do you know why I tried to leave during dinner?" You picked his hand up from his lap and curled your fingers into his, fidgeting to calm your nerves.

"Damn, dinner, I haven't fed you. Please tell me what to order, I can hear your stomach every time the room goes quiet." He'd lifted his phone and you relented, asking him for noodles and beef with as much kimchi as he could order. How could he be so cute clicking away at his phone, worried about your tummy? You didn't think you were going to be hungry by the time the food arrived now that you were so close to the end.

"Are you going to answer my question now?" He'd set his phone down on the couch again, it was his turn to pick up your hand, twisting his fingers through yours.

"I figured I offended you with all the sex talk." Yoongi shrugged bringing your fingers to his lips where he kissed them delicately. He made you feel so special, treated you like you meant something to him, so why didn't you?

"I wasn't offended. I realized that listening to you talk about your music, being so passionate about something, you were the most interesting person I'd come across since I got here. I've been so lonely since my roommate left, but even before that, I had no focus, no motivation. I moved here for absolutely no reason. I was in this gorgeous place with culture and things to see, and I was just living the same nothing life as back home." You got choked up at your words, your emotions tearing through you at the truth of them, each one sunk lower into your chest.

Yoongi looked like he wanted to comfort you but he just squeezed your fingers and brushed your hair behind your ear, a gentle murmur to encourage you to continue.

"I didn't want to be your hook up, I wanted to know you, spend time with you. I wanted that passion for life to spark something in me, wake me up. And I knew if I went to bed with you it would be ruined." You swallowed hard refusing to cry in front of him. Your pointless life wasn't his fault.

"Then why did you ask me to take you to my bedroom Y/N?" His eyes regarded you warmly, his thumb stroking a path down your palm.

"I don't know. Loneliness? Attraction? I thought you were giving me signals that you were into me too, and not just my body."

"You know, the first thing I thought when you rolled your window down and I scolded you making you cry, was that I never wanted be the reason you cried again. I've never had that reaction, so I did what I always do when I'm scared of my emotions, I turned it into something sexual. I had no clue you were going to take the bait. When you didn't text me I didn't like the feeling."

"You never wanted me to cry again?" Your heart clenched at the sweetness of his response to seeing you.

"Ridiculous right? I didn't know you at all, and you'd almost hit me with your car! I had the right to be angry." You nodded, trying to absorb everything he was saying. Yoongi told you that when you'd gone into his bathroom, he was even more confused. His heart was pounding in his chest, he was scared you had a boyfriend and he was never going to see you again.

"I was a little offended you thought I was coming over to hook up with you when I had a boyfriend." You smiled a little bit and smacked his arm mildly.

"When you came back to the table and we started talking again, the conversation felt so easy, I really liked you Y/N, but you were giving me all these signs that you just wanted to hook up, even though your words kept saying you didn't." Yoongi raised a brow, he wasn't wrong, you'd said you didn't want that a couple times, but you'd kissed him, and then asked him to go to his bedroom.

"So why rule 5 if you liked me? If you wanted more than a hook up?" Here it was, that moment that was going to break your heart. He'd said as much in his texts the next day. He didn't have time for something serious.

"That's not the easiest question to answer kitten." He dragged his fingers through his hair looking past you into the kitchen. Yoongi's eyes had turned so sad you leaned forward hugging him, your cheek to his chest.

"When I get attached to people, they let me down. They use me for my talents, my money, my contacts. They don't care about me. I put the brakes on because I liked you, I thought if we slept together that would be it, just another girl in my bed. I thought I could slow things down by making you wait, I thought you'd come back and we could try things differently. Then when you got mad and left I was confused. Were you upset because we didn't have sex or because we'd messed around, and I couldn't exactly have that discussion on the street." Yoongi had wrapped his arms around you, laid his chin against your temple as he spoke slowly, the words that bared his insecurities. This guy who'd you assumed was a cold fuck boy was making your chest ache.

"And all your messages the next morning, pretty much telling me to get over it? Telling me you didn't have time for me?" He was throwing so much at you, so many words that made your head spin, it was your turn to be confused. You leaned back and met his eyes wanting to understand.

"I panicked, I still wasn't sure what you wanted from me, you weren't responding to my calls, and every message I sent seemed like the wrong thing to say."

"They weren't the right thing to say Yoongi, I was embarrassed about you turning me down. I thought you'd toyed with me for fun." How could two people be speaking completely differently languages?

"You blocked me before I had the chance to fix anything. I was upset, I've never been so upset over a girl before and all I could think about was you. I wanted to punch myself for breaking my vow. I knew I was making you really sad."

Yoongi was the one who looked gutted right now, you felt bad for letting your impulsive temper prevent you from talking it out with someone who deserved some grace from you. You'd screamed at him and stormed out over a misunderstanding, you felt like an asshole.