The Gen-Z Avenger| Book 2

018| Ran Away From It

When I went running, I had zero ideas on what to do.

I was a child you know? A scared child with Olivia Rodrigo lyrics on my mind and a fiancé, idiots went rouge.

I used to think of how different things would have played out if Nat or Bucky had joined in. Their spies! Sneaky, well-trained spies. So they would probably be good assets to the team.

I felt horrible, I always did when I thought about the fact that I also left them, not just my past. But something inside of me made me want to apologize, or atone for my sins, or something similar.

I woke up to the feeling of pure want, want to apologize, want to talk, want to be there.

So I decided to fix my urges, the urges to make up for my mistakes and talk to people. I knew Natasha was hurt by it from what Loki said, Bucky wanted to break stuff, like once small scrawny Brooklyners. That kinda stuff.

After I had gotten dressed and ready for the day, I headed off the ship and into the main Stark building that I presumed people crashed in. According to Pietro, the undocumented and those who needed it, everyone else had left a long time ago.

I headed into one of the kitchens, although she wasn't there, another was empty of her. Buy the third set of hallways she had entered to see if she was there, Nat was stood there, making herself coffee.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked as I entered the room.

"Yeah sure, I have a minute.." She replied.

"I'm sorry, I just want you to know how unbelievably sorry I am for leaving-"

"Y/N, I was pissed. For weeks and weeks and maybe even many months but not at you. You got out and made something of yourself.." Nat said.

"But I left you! Left you and Bucky and Sam! Yes maybe I'm a galaxy superstar, I was gone!" I yelled back to her.

"You left and it hurt but you arrived home married, with a baby. You made me a grandmother you know, that little girl is a bundle of laughs.." Nat smiled.

"That's our Cece, she's a happy baby. When she took her first steps, everyone was laughing and she didn't know what was going on and she joined in.." I smiled at the memory.

"You always told me you'd never have kids, you said that you just wanted a thousand dogs, you had Gus but-" She paused, "- did you bring your dog to space?!" She yelled out.

"No, no I did not! Clint had taken him to see his kids again, they were like his second family. Even though he dognapped Gus, I let him keep him.." I smiled, "Cece always wanted a puppy, little puffball of a dog. I wasn't very on-brand for space warriors, she's too young anyway.." I laughed.

"They go through phases, wait until she wants a unicorn, that's a problem you won't even know how to fix.." Nat smiled.

"When she met unicorns, she wasn't that interested. I think she's more of a dragons girl, she named one Bob, I keep thinking of the day we will have to go back in search for Bob.." I said, watching her pour me a cup of coffee.

"So unicorns add real?! And dragons?!" She said in shock, handing me a mug.

"It's hard to believe, I know. So you and Steve aren't together anymore?" I spoke as we sat at the counter.

"As soon as I found out what he did I left his ass. He wanted me to marry him, we were picking out rings. All the while he was plotting to kill you. I'm seeing someone now and haven't told him, I probably won't.." She shrugged.

"Is it anyone I would have known?" I asked as I sipped my coffee.

"Maria Hill, I'm dating Fury's right hand and I have been for about a year.." She smiled.

"I didn't see that coming, I love it, but I definitely didn't see it coming. Maria is great, she always was and you two are perfect for each other. You're moving on.." I spoke to her.

"We ran away from it all Y/N. Because of you we left. A lot of the time we questioned why you did it, but then we did the exact same thing hours later. We both fell into just an awful state, awful. We couldn't take it, there was a hole in our lives from where you used to be and we didn't know if you were dead. I know you are sorry, I do, but it was horrible. Mainly the not knowing what was happening in your life and if you were dead, you could have been dead!" Nat cried out.

"I should be dead! Remember when I got shot at 14?! I should be six feet underground in a coffin but then again, I'm me! I have too much to live for Nat, I've gone through too much to die. I thought about coming back home every day for four years, the two months I spent in prison with Wands, all we thought about was you. I know we should have been in contact, don't you think I don't regret this?! Then life got in the way and I had prisons to blow up, then I formed a team, broke my leg in so many places and then had a baby! I wanted you so many times, I wanted a hug or just a talk, because it was hard Nat!" I replied in a panic.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Y/N-"

"No, you don't get to be sorry because this wasn't your fault! I ran! I left, I almost died a bazillion times!" I argued with her.

"What happened to your leg, we need to change the subject of who to blame.." She muttered.

"It should have been amputated ages ago, Fluer used to be a surgeon and told me that if I break the damn thing one more time she's gonna have to remove it.." I spoke, "I've come to peace with the fact that one day, it's not gonna be there.."

"Are you okay? It's a stupid question that you never answered, but are you?" She asked.

"I had to deal with the loss of 11 people 5 months ago, I'm coping. I'll be fine, I'm always fine. The real question is, are you okay?" I asked her.

"My kids alive and sending burns Steve and Tony's way every five seconds. And she has a baby, I'm doing just fine.." She smiled.

Just fine.

Part of the sick feeling in my stomach went away when I knew I had done the right thing. I knew what was next for the day.

Bucky.