Chapter 48

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Fast forward one year:

Dear Journal,

Someone once told me to always live for the little things in life. Live for 5am sunrises and 5pm sunsets, where you'll see colors in the sky that don't belong. Live for car drives or bike rides with music in your ears and the wind in your hair.

Live for days when you're surrounded by your favourite people that make you realise that the world is not a harsh, cold place.

Live for the little things because they make you realise that this is what life is about. This is what it means to live.

It's been just over a year since I've written in this book, and I have a lot to say.

My life has been a heck of a rollercoaster, one that has had much repairs to. But it has been fixed nonetheless.

I have overcome many challenges and I am more than certain that I will face many more, I just hope they won't be as bad as they have been.

It started off with losing my mom, but I dealt with that problem by killing my dad. With years of resentment behind it as well. I killed my old abuser.

So much killing.

Then I got kidnapped and that was another break in my rollercoaster, he's still alive. Sadly. But that's how I want it, I let him eat a few months ago, but only because I want him to suffer for a long time.

Lexi and Tobias are still downstairs but Nicola asked for them to be taken care of until he's ready. So we've let him decide on what happens to them unless it's letting them out.

We're not that stupid to do that.

Emilio and Jonathon went on a date after a month of persuasion from me and Izzy. But they're not telling us anything so fuck them. Joking! They buy me cars.

Axel, Rosalyn, and Adele moved out of the mansion five months ago to live a somewhat normal life. A safe life for Adele. But Axel has said that if we ever need help he's only a call away. I won't be calling him for that though, Adele needs a dad that's not going to maybe get shot. Or worse.

Izzy has been getting into fashion a lot and Nicola has been getting into music. Ricardo is now talking quite a bit and won't shut up. I also taught him a few swear words but I've denied it's me and blamed Carlo. FYI, everyone believes me.

I am officially seven months clean on cutting myself. I've cut down on the drinking and smoking. It's only on rare occasions now or when I'm bored.

Carlo and I have been fully concentrated on the Mafia, and are running it instead of getting help from Giovanni and some of the members. Sure Gio helps out here and there, but it's mostly the two of us.

Carlo and I had the talk about kids, we cried... a lot. I apologised, he told me not to. Blah blah blah. He said it's up to me if I want a kid. To be honest.... I hate kids. But Ricardo has grown on me. So that's for the future.

"Amore."

I look up from where I am sat on the window sill over to the door where Carlo is leant against the door frame smiling at me.

"One second."

I have to go, so I don't know when I'll write next. Maybe in another year. I'm not sure.

So goodbye for now.

Amore,xx

I sign the 'Amore' slowly to savor it and finally I close the very full written journal and put it down with my pen. Carlo walks up to me and presses a kiss to my lips.

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