The Hate Between Us (Percabeth&Solangelo)

Chapter Twenty-Four: Where We First Met

Piper POV:

Look in the mirror, tell me what do you see?

Mom, please answer me... I don't know who I am anymore.

Part One:

Life without Jason was hard at first. I missed the dates most of all. My Saturday nights would feel empty without him. I sometimes lay in bed and ran my hand against the sheets where his body used to lay. My mattress was still dented from the weight of him. I smiled sadly at the memory of him laying there, allowing me to rest my head on his biceps even hours after his arm had gone numb. He had always been such a heavy sleeper.

I missed the feeling of my hand in his. His long, slender fingers would curl around mine and make me feel safe. He used to drag me from one place to the next so excitedly – always "piper look at this!" and "oooh pipes you have to see this!" and always showing me off to the crowds. Look at her, she's mine.

I missed his irritating habits. The way he would push his glasses so far up his nose when he was focused that they would bruise his brow. The way he would constantly mutter "ummmm" whenever he struggled on his homework. The way he would bite his nails when he was nervous – the only part of his body that didn't look prim and proper.

I missed his dedication to things. The football and gym he would always throw himself into. The way he would work harder every single time he didn't get the perfect grade. I missed his initial kindness, how he would never judge a book by its cover, how he wanted to help everyone he could, how he knew that a smile would make all the difference. I missed his leadership and quick brain, how he always knew exactly how to react in a difficult situation. I missed his vision – he knew what he wanted to be and how to get there, and he had never strayed from that path.

Until he strayed from me.

After a while, I started to miss him less, you see. Because how could I forget that he cheated? And why could I not forget the things that I never liked about him? Like his over-competitiveness that somehow led him to say rude things about Annabeth – leading to an argument. The way he valued his work and football over me so that we would sometimes go days without talking – leading to an argument. How he did always have to be so prim and proper, never wanted to do things messily, never wanted to let loose or be free – leading to an argument. How he stopped caring for me, after a while, because he could only face one problem at a time, and when life got difficult for him that was all he saw: himself.

Argument after argument after argument. I didn't miss those.

In those last few weeks of our relationship I had run to Shel with my problems. Good, kind, beautiful, confusing Shel, who I just couldn't get out of my mind and who I felt most guilty for. She was my most painful secret. Because how could I hate Jason for what he did to me when I knew that my loyalties... and perhaps my heart... had longed for someone else long before he had cheated on me?

My heartbreak was replaced by guilt. So I hid.

"But then I said it's just a TV show and he shouldn't be getting so fucking defensive about it, and then he said that it wasn't just a TV show, it's more about what it represents and what I value in our relationship, and before I could say anything else he stormed out of the room, and I haven't seen him since," Ryan sighed, hopping onto the counter and lazily wiping away the breadcrumbs that remained on its surface.

I giggled and shook my head up at him. "Daniel does have a point though. How can you like Eric after what he did to Adam?"

Ryan grunted. "Piper! You're supposed to be on my side about this! It's just 'Sex Education', a silly TV show shouldn't put a strain on our relationship."