I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

Alice, Naska, and the Two Phoenix Familiars

I think I broke the prince. He was a hothead before, but not to this extent. I think he's developed an inferiority complex towards me because of my greatness. This is what I get for being so perfect. I don't know how long we've been doing this. It started with defeating the fifth obstacle of our journey, and ended with an impromptu fight between us.

"You damn-"

"Hey, hey, that's no way to talk to your fiance, now is it~?"

"Ahhh!"

"Let's use our mouths to fight, not our fists, okay~ calm down, Naska~"

"SHUT IT!"

"I must teach you the proper way to swear sometimes. 'SHUT IT' is not a good term to use. If you want me to be quiet, I suggest you use 'SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL PULL YOUR PENIS OUT' or 'DAMN YOU BITCH JUST SHUT YOUR TRAP BEFORE I CASTRATE YOU'. Well, I guess those threats don't really work on a girl... never mind, just something on those lines, okay?"

"WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH YOU AND CUTTING PEOPLE'S PENIS' OFF?!"

I tried, again and again, to reason with Hothead, but to no avail. He just kept coming at me, and I just kept dancing away or turning to shadow and reappearing behind his sorry figure.

Despite my best efforts, my perfect patience wore thin very fast. Just fuck out. My patience ended with that thought and I just sighed as he came at me again and pulled out transformed-into-katana glowy sword thing I found during my last escapade into the woods with Liz.

"Prince, don't you know it's not proper manners to swear at a lady?" I appeared behind him and held the katana at his neck. "It's not nice to attack your fiance with such dirty words, either." I tightened my sword against his neck and grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Take time to reflect on your actions." I moved the sword and used its hilt to knock him out cold. Naska dropped to the dirt ground and I walked away. I'll tell the teachers 'I lost the second prince on the way and that we got separated, my deepest apologies' or something. I told myself as I hummed 'In the Hall of the Mountain King', walking along the road in solitude.

----

"Whatever should I do? I lost my dear fiance... I take full responsibility, Teacher." I weeped fake tears and dabbed my eyes with my baby blue handkerchief, and looked down to conceal the bored look on my face. I'm pulling a heroine. I thought as I looked around at the small crowd gathering around me. "I should have taken proper care of my fiance and guided him to the next campsite, but I made a grave error and forgot to wait for him and went on my way... how careless of me."

"Lady Novea, it is not your fault! You simply forgot that your fiance was weaker than you and exerted him too much! If anything, it was his fault for not being able to catch up to you!" One student piped up. The others nodded in agreement.

"Thank you for your reassurance, however if I had remembered it, then perhaps the prince would not be wandering those woods by himself, having to deal with those obstacles without me..." I hinted and made a rather uncharacteristically distressed look.

"Nonsense! You dealt with those monsters by yourself, with ease I'm sure! If the prince would not be able to do the same, then he is solely to blame!"

My attitude changed in a flash, and I smiled at the student talking. The daughter of a count. Patricia Geowa, if I remember correctly. She's the leader of my fan base in school. "Thank you, Lady, for your comforting words. I will repay this debt." I flashed a brilliant smile and looked at the teachers with expectant eyes. Don't go against the will of the students, professors, or your fate will be sealed.

"L-Lady Novea, y-you are indeed not to blame. I am sure that the second prince will come to our campsite, in due time. We will be sending faculty staff in search of the prince. You needn't trouble yourself."

I smiled and curtsied. "Then, with that, I shall be retiring for the night. Thank you all for your concern, especially you, Lady Geowa." The person who was reassuring me blushed at my words.

"I-it is no trouble."

----

I got out of my space with a full belly and a clean body, thoroughly reaping the benefits of having a space. I heard the bell ring, and I strided out of my tent with fresh, clean clothes. All of the other nobles had to bathe in cold water inside their tents. Ha! Suckers.

I brought a thin shawl with me and was the first one to huddle around the campfire on a long, stiff log. After I sat down, the seats around me filled up and I was left crammed in between the students' bodies.

I turned to the boy on the left and smiled while trying to breathe. A son of a viscount from a distant kingdom on the continent. Loreing Starde. I noted as I began small talk. "Lord Starde. It is nice to meet you. I am Alice Novea, heir of the dukedom of Novea. How do you do on this fine night?"

He looked flustered for a moment before gaining composure. "Wonderful, of course. Thank you, Lady Novea, for your concern." Hmmm... oh! Yeah, right, this Loreing guy is part of my fan club too. Ahhh, that makes sense.

I smiled and started talking, asking about his journey with his partner and other boring stuff like that. Humans love talking about themselves. It'll be easy to draw information from him once I lower his defenses.

After a while, I got a lot of information. For example, the viscount's chocolate business had slight drops in popularity and their method is to steer the conversation towards the Starde's reliability to increase the sales and trust of their clients.

And I got the answer I was looking for. My fiance finally came back, just an hour ago. I wouldn't know, since I spent most of my time playing around and eating in my space, but apparently he looked haggard and pissed off, grumbling something about me and my fist.

Kekekeke... he's so easy to manipulate. He's not just a dense hothead, but also has quite the inferiority complex now. If I touch him, he'll react like he hasn't before. He'll let his emotions get out of control, unlike usual, and then sayonara engagement, hello, freedom.

(Author's Note: This one was quite droll. I needed to foreshadow a lot of stuff, so it was all words. But I think the next chapter will be quite interesting?)