Summers & Starbucks || bxb ✓

25 - Detentions

Kaiden

Every word from his mouth feels like I'm being doused in ice water. I watch him walk away, not looking back once.

I expected this. I knew this would come but it still doesn't hurt less. I was hoping it would change things, was hoping he liked me back, that he didn't really mean it.

The kiss meant nothing to him.

He's right, I'm pathetic.

I got stupidly attached and thought the friendship was something else. It is entirely my fault and I have to live with the mess of my emotions.

But fuck if it doesn't feel like a hundred knives twisting in my gut.

I didn't think I would ever like anyone after Hayley and then he came along.

I'm scared of how strong my feelings are. But they're just mine. How do I get over someone who was never mine? Who do I blame when I'm the one breaking my own heart?

******

"Where did you disappear suddenly last night?! You look like shit!" Raven asks, the minute she sees me in school on Monday.

Ugh, don't remind me.

Mondays are the worst.

"Thanks, I feel like it too. I threw up," I mutter, taking my books out from the locker. "It was probably the punch at the dance."

"Aw that's too bad. Are you okay now?" She asks, looking genuinely worried.

"I'm fine, don't worry," I nod.

I don't want to rehash everything to her, I'm barely holding myself together anyway. I feel like I got hit by a truck. I'm crazy and stupid, for crying over Nathan. The rumors are fake and he's straight and I am the idiot who is pining over someone he will never have.

Way to go, Kaiden, you've successfully made a fool out of yourself.

"You have awful bags under your eyes Kai, so don't bullshit me. What actually happened?"

I sigh, walking towards my Chem class. She follows me, looking for an answer.

"I told you, I am sick. My stomach kept me up all night hence the bags," I sigh.

"You know you can tell me anything right? I'm always here, ready to listen."

"Yeah I know. Did you enjoy your night?"

"Me? Oh hell yes!" She sighs dreamily.

"It was perfect! Nathan was the perfect date. We walked home together and had hot chocolate at Crunch and Caff. He met my parents and was straight out of a fairytale, chivalrous and proper."

At least he was nice to her. He was nice to me too considering I slept with his sworn enemy.

I am the fucking idiot.

"Fuck, I could easily love him Kaiden! He's a dream come true!" Raven sighs.

I nod, forcing a smile, every word of hers feeling like the knives are pushed further in my gut. The bell goes off and we separate.

I sit on my usual seat with Nathan, ignoring him. I can't bear to look at him.

I am so embarrassed that I ever thought he would be interested in me romantically. The kiss was stupid anyway, he was still drunk.

The class passes by in silence. So does Biology, Chem and Art.

I don't know what to say to him, after the colossal spectacle I made of myself. He told me to stay away.... but we literally have almost all our classes together.