Summers & Starbucks || bxb ✓

34 - Cat's Out

Kaiden

You know the feeling when time is passing but you feel excluded from it? I think it's called dissociating. That's what is happening to me. I'm sitting on the nearby palm tree, watching the drama that is now my life, unfold slowly.

I'm so dense. It's been staring at me right in the fucking face for two months. It is right fucking there. How didn't I notice?

But... Sam?!

He was with me when we found Nathan after the university party. He didn't even blink, not one expression changed when he saw him. Or maybe I was too caught up in my relief of finding Nathan to notice anything else.

God, I am so insanely dumb.

I don't know how Nathan can still live like that in the same neighborhood. His whole life was uprooted. I would change countries. Sam is the reason why he has trust issues.

Nathan joined Credence this year, which means he left Westbrook just before the time we met at camp. Sam doesn't know that the person I like is actually his ex boyfriend.

What the fuck have I landed myself into?

"You fucking stood there Sam, while your father gave me a fucking ultimatum! Leave the school and leave you, or he will make my life miserable!" Nathan yells.

I inhale sharply. Seth and Ana both look white as ghosts.

"You didn't even fight for me. Not once! Remember how much I was begging? I bet you enjoyed that, didn't you, you sadistic asswipe!"

Nathan hastily wipes his eyes.

"Do you remember that? Or did you conveniently forget?! I mean, obviously you could afford to forget. You weren't the one picking up the pieces of your heart from the fucking floor!"

I don't realise I reached out to hold his hand. He head whips to me, making me shut my eyes and look away. I don't want him to yell at me, I won't be able to handle it.

He doesn't say anything, instead turns back to Sam.

"Tell me Sam, did you forget how your father told me that he would forge a false criminal record against my dad and revoke his medical licence? Did you forget how he said my mum would be branded as a MDP?! All because I loved you? And you stood there, watching me wordlessly!"

My grip on his hand tightens. I can't believe that this is happening, that this is real.

Sam doesn't seem fazed, to my utter surprise.

"I didn't have a choice," He says finally, voice devoid of emotion. His eyes steel themselves, jaw set and clenched.

"I know you suffered, but it was for the best. I thought you'd move away with your dad and that would be the end of all the drama. But no, you stuck around. I wonder why you bothered to show up now, after all these months."

He doesn't.... feel the slightest bit sorry?!

Nathan looks like he got stabbed, his expression contorted in pain.

"To think I loved you, you fucking piece of shit!"

Sam actually rolls his eyes and it makes my blood boil.

"I didn't ask you to. And for fuck's sake, did you really think we were going to last beyond high school? Were you really that deluded, Nate? My dad threatened to kick me out if I stayed with you. You really thought I would choose you over my own life?"

Nathan's tears have stopped now, his teeth grinding against each other.

Is it bad...that I understand why Sam did what he did?! I fucking get him. Am I wrong for feeling like that?