What we yearn for (unedited)

Prologue

"I hate him so much sometimes, Brielle. I know its like, a bad thing to say but I can't help it at this point!" the girl blurted out at me, giving her tearful hazel eyes the most furious of rubs. 

Great, this is what I get for trying to be the concerned and compassionate co-worker. Although in a way I felt I kind of owed it to her since she put me on to that inexpensive diner that sold large food portions. In my current predicament where my appetite could occasionally seem endless, that was a gold mine.

 I could endure this for a little longer.

But the longer I witnessed My co-worker rub her eyes, the more I contemplated grabbing her wrists to halt her.

"Hannah, I know you're going through something but uh, if you want to talk, I'm here you know. No need to hold it in or anything." I tell her. 

Hannah and I weren't the best of friends, but I'd worked with her long enough to know that she by default could usually be in a tense mood. But today it was more than usual. I actually could do a phenomenal job when ignoring her when she was like this (as long as she did her job, which she usually always did). She usually kept it together.

Until now.

Shortly moments before our closing day Hannah ran to the back after reading some message from her phone. It was sudden and abrupt but I didn't really mind for a number of reasons. One, this was my last week before I took some much-needed time off and two, I could use the break from being in such close proximity of someone who was sin such a mood.  It made cleaning up early and reading a decent book during the slow hours before closing much easier. But if I was being honest, I kind of wished Hannah would have managed the last-minute online delivery request we got. Then again, Hannah didn't like to 'play delivery girl' as I overheard her say with some of the employees once. Which ultimately would of left the task to me either way. 

With a deep sigh, I set a hand on Hannah's shaking shoulder as she buried her face into her own hands.

"I mean it Hannah, if you need to vent, I won't judge or anything. Only if you want though, no pressure."

Please, for the love of God say no. 

I found myself praying silently.

It wasn't so much about of not wanting to be bothered with Hannah's dramatics. It was more so because I didn't know what I could say or do to mend her current emotional state. Especially if it had something to do with men

I couldn't give this girl advice even if I wanted to. it wasn't as If I was in the most stable and profound relationship myself. I didn't even know how to invest myself in relationship in general. In all my life It never really seemed like a good idea for someone like me. especially if I was at risk of ending up with me being a bawling mess like poor Hannah here. 

"it's just, I though this guy liked me," her muffled voice fills my ears. again, her shoulders shake as she sobs before ultimately, she brings her face, flushed with an angry red hue, up to view. "He even said he liked me being around! I've been texting him for weeks asking him to go out. and hes just now getting back to me and you know what he says?"

My eyes shift at the sudden pause.

Oh, its not a rhetoric question, is it?

"Um, no. what did he say?"

"Not going to be able to do that. but take care of yourself" she answers. "that's it! no full explanation as to why, no nothing! Ugg!" she suddenly stands from her seat. "I cannot stand men! They're the absolute worse you know?"

Oh yeah, we can definitely agree on that.

I wanted to say this aloud, and maybe even tell her I related at least superficially to what she was going through. But I had a feeling, and partially due to past experience with her, that Hannah  was wrapped up in herself right now. Relating to her on a personal level probably wouldn't work right now. so, I kept my story to myself.