What we yearn for (unedited)

8 Brielle

" Brielle I came right over as soon as Milan called me! How are you feeling?"

Jenny's words rush out almost as quickly as she enters my hospital room. Her usual straight honey blonde hair is a bit frazzled now and her milky brown skin has a red hue at the cheeks.

I'm stunned by it all, her appearance and the fact that she's here. not so much by her speaking a mile a minute. She did have these occasions where she became a bit spazzy to the point where you couldn't keep up with her. This was especially if she was anxious and/or worried.

"I'm...I'm alright Jenny," I try to give her a reassuring smile. But she doesn't look my way. She's instead focused on the bags, which I now realize that she's carrying. She places them on a nearby table and begins looking through them. "Did you do some shopping or- "

"Yes," her gaze snaps toward me." I got your favorite tea's that I've seen you drink at work, some remedy's I read that help moms after birth and some self help books- "

Jenny's cut off by the soft coo's coming from the pediatric crib close to my bedside.

"Oh god," she murmurs, her tone hushed. Her eyes shift from the crib to me. "Am I being too loud?"

I scrunch my nose "A little. But don't worry he sleeps pretty heavy."

"He?" Her eyes widen and become moist with emotion. "It's a boy? you had a boy? Milan didn't tell me that!"

"Is it possible you didn't give him the chance to?" I chuckle knowingly. "You do tend to move at the speed of light when you're excited."

"Ok," she nods. "that's fair. Maybe I should have calmed down a little when he called me earlier. I just wished he would have called me sooner. It's been what, two days now since you gave birth? Wait a moment, why are you guys still here?" her eyes begin to dart between me and crib. "Is everything alright with you and..."

"Eli." I speak. "I named him Eli."

I can't stop the soft and giddy feeling that blooms in my heart saying his name, or the smile that spreads across my face when I look over to him. Hes wrapped, like a 'burrito' as Milan put it, in a soft yellow blanket with little bears on them. He sleeps peacefully although he has woken up a few times whenever hes been hungry. I do find myself waking up at the slightest sound of him cooing or simply just to check and make sure hes fine. I prepared myself for this, not sleeping steadily, since I would be doing this whole thing alone.

I had to admit I did appreciate -and was also shocked- at Milan staying the first day to make sure I rested soundly a little. But...that feeling of appreciation is also accompanied by the nagging thought of being a burden.

"Milan had to handle some work, but he called me to ask if fill in and help."

"Absolutely not," I shake my head." I appreciate you guys, but I've already taken enough of your family's time. Eli and I will be alright." I try to sport my most reassuring smile.

"Brielle don't be silly." She frowns. "It's not a bother to any of us. I mean, I know Milan's schedule can get crazy and his work asks a lot of him. But he didn't seem too bothered at all."

I'd be tempted to believe that if he had departed better. Instead, I woke up in this room by myself this morning. Milan left a little note saying that he had to go and didn't want to disturb Eli and my sleep; that he was going to contact me later and have someone stop by the hospital.

Don't get me wrong, I do like Jenny's company but something about the way Milan left made me feel a little...down.

But I didn't have time to dwell on that.