The Queen's Affection || Jungwon

15 - Fell In Love

- Yeona PoV -

When I close my eyes, I feel like I'm floating into a world of peace. A place where there's no worries or conflict, only happiness and love.

I thought I can only go to that paradise when I enable myself to cut off everything, but when I stare into his eyes, it's euphoria...

I would be in my room, either painting away my miseries or reading a novel about a life that I exactly want. I would be imagining what it would be like to feel my age. To wonder the world with eyes filled of curiosity and to have an open heart to be adventurous and take on anything...

As my feet dance around the wet dandelions, I inhale every single moment of this bliss.

I find myself looking at him when I twirl or laugh. To see whether he's happy too.

When I see those dimples, they light up this dark place.

For just a few moments, I allow my teenage heart to skip a beat for a man I can't have.

I know this feeling is temporary, that's why I must live it even if it's just a few minutes under the rain.

Sometimes it's hard to suppress such a dreamlike feeling.

As you can see, I still don't know about love even though I thought what it was when I was 8. 

These feelings towards Jungwon... I'm unsure of. I wouldn't even know to classify it as love... but as we lay on the grass together... I disable those feelings.

Reality sinks in when I see the twinkles in his eyes...

What am I even thinking?

Am I actually stupid to think all these things as he's pictured in my mind?

Thinking about his dimples, his eyes, his smile, and for what? For feelings that shouldn't mean anything to me?!

I have to be losing my mind...

"We... we should go," I stand up feeling out of space. I start walking without him. 

Why would I leave my room to go with him knowing that I'm going to be entering a lion's den when I go back?

I'm totally done for now.

"Hey!" Jungwon catches up to me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I answer coldly. 

The kiss...

Holding hands...

Gah! Why?! Why did I allow myself to behave that way!?

I feel like ripping out the rest of my hair!

"We should enter through the back," Jungwon suggests as we approach the palace.

"I don't care," I say with my voice hoarse.

Huh? Why does my voice feel this way?

"Ya..." Jungwon tries to get my attention but I continue to ignore him.

I then look at him, "If they know you took me out of the palace, it would serve you good. A King should be responsible enough to follow the rules, and you did the exact opposite."

Once Queen Dowager finds out, she will be livid. She would hate for him to be King. 

"Yeona..." He softly lets out.

"You should be happy," I flatly say. "Because I am."

"Yeona-"

"Also," I then look away. "You are to call me by my royal title. Enough with the informalities."